You probably ate your weight in turkey, ham or turducken over the past five days. Hence, you may be suffering from the meat sweats or walking slowly, like you've got an extra ham hock hanging around your middle. It's a feeling that vacillates between pleasantly full and "I can't believe I went back for that fourth trip at a Las Vegas buffet."
I've tried seltzer water and thick slabs of bacon the next day. Greasy, sausage-filled sandwiches fail to take off the edge. I think it's time to accept that there is no cure for a meat hangover.
You can't take two vegetables and call me in the morning or go on a juice fast. The meat in your body acts like a tractor beam, pulling in unsuspecting ham sandwiches and trios of sliders. Watch what happens when you go out for lunch today. You'll suddenly be craving slow-roasted pork.
A proper meat hangover lasts about a week. The first sign that you may be suffering from one is revulsion. You'll look at the Tupperware in the fridge and think about tossing it. If only you could. Sadly, the second stage is acceptance. This is the moment when you make peace with the amount of meat you've just consumed and decide that maybe you could have another plate.
After that comes the third stage, resignation, which lasts five days. The meat in your body acts like a magnetic satellite. pulling in
unsuspecting ham sandwiches and trios of sliders. Watch what happens
when you go out for lunch today. You'll suddenly be craving
slow-roasted pork (again). The good news is that you've only got to make it to Thursday., After that, you'll be free to get back to your regular eating habits.
The only answer to avoiding a meat hangover appears to be eating less meat. And that is no answer at all.
[Image via Flickr: AdamSelwood]
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