I was a bacon innocent when I began writing for Fat City. It was not that I had failed to eat my share of the griddle sticks, but rather I met each and every new bacon invention with the wonder of a child discovering Santa's greasy breakfast had been left for him.
Today I sit here like a grizzled veteran, believing that our obsession with bacon is taking the place of legitimate culinary inspiration. I'm not surprised to see bacon appear on any menu, just slightly disappointed. And then somebody had to go and mess with my morning coffee.
Bacon Freak now sells Boss Hog Maple Bacon Coffee. And it's not the only maple bacon coffee on the market, Boca Java has its own blend. The reviews (thankfully?) indicate that the flavor is more maple-y, than bacon-y.
I guess I should have seen this coming. Earlier this year, Torani rolled out bacon-flavored coffee syrup. If you go all the way back to 2009, which is eons in the great rush to slip bacon into all of our meals, then you can see what happens when actual bacon is placed in actual coffee. The results aren't pretty over at Putting Weird Things in Coffee.
I was okay when you replaced a burger patty entirely with bacon strips, Internet. I was even glad to see bacon pancakes. Novelty pop makes the world go round, so bacon soda will probably be in my Christmas stocking this year. But coffee is taking it too far.
I should have said something earlier before it was too late. Now, I will have to drink my cup of fatty joe and it will taste greasy and bitter -- the tastes of resignation and defeat.
[Image via Flickr: Mazaletel]
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