Breakfast can be brunch, but brunch isn't always breakfast. Brunch comes with liquor and pancakes and buffets in a dazzling array that is never as simple as one dish. The Pitch's Charles Ferruzza reviews brunches around town in this week's column.
In an effort to define the meal, I have tried to compile a list of indicators that let you know when you are indeed sitting down to brunch and not a leisurely eaten breakfast masquerading as the best part of your weekend.
You know it's brunch when...
...there are both breakfast and lunch items on the menu. It's the whole reason we have the word brunch.
....a hipster in a porkpie hat informs you that he doesn't eat cheese when you ask his opinion on the Western omelet.
....your orange juice triples in price.
....you inexplicably order quiche and spend the next 15 minutes dreading the arrival of your order. You then devour said quiche.
....you are on your best behavior, treating your parents to a meal or hoping your children will somehow discover the concept of best behavior.
....there's more poached eggs on the menu than any other preparation.
....cold peel-your-own shrimp sit inexplicably between cinnamon rolls and a fresh fruit plate on the buffet table.
....you find yourself drinking a water, soda, coffee and juice, in an attempt to flush out your system from the previous evening's beverage intake.
....some jackhole who recently moved from Brooklyn is complaining that brunch isn't a big deal in Kansas City.
How else do you know it's brunch?
[Image via Flickr: Moriza]