Hi, my name is Jonathan, and I waited too long to pay the check. There, that feels much better. Although it doesn't change the fact that Friday night, I was a check squatter.
I sat and neither ate nor paid. Instead, I was genuinely oblivious to the simple fact that the restaurant needed my table back. And for that, I am sorry.
In asking for your clemency, I present to you my inadequate defense. It was Friday night at Waldo Pizza, which is typically the intersection of crazy town and hungry children. We met friends just after 5:30 p.m., so the dining room was not yet crowded.
We ate in the Tap Room, adjacent to the main dining room, where the line of waiting families by the door is out of sight. The table next to us was empty for nearly our entire meal. It was actually the act of someone sitting there that made me think we should pay our tab. We probably only lingered for 15 minutes or so with the check unpaid. But with a wait that was likely longer than 15 minutes for those by the door, that's unacceptable.
Have you ever unintentionally squatted at a table or, even worse, been forced to stand by the bar and watch as somebody fails to settle the bill?