Super Bowl Sunday is a time when all your guiltiest food pleasures are laid bare to your fellow partygoers. It's the time to set aside fat content or common sense in order to revel in the gooifying principles of your microwave and crockpot.
The Super Bowl is really America's celebration of our filthiest appetizers -- pigs in a blanket, tiny egg rolls and loaded potato skins. My name is Jonathan, and I love chili-cheese dip.
And this is not homemade chili or small batch, local farm cheese. Chili-cheese dip is easily the dirtiest food I consume each year. It's a can of Hormel Chili (with beans) and a block of Velveeta the size of my forearm. I'm not even certain they sell either of those goods at the grocery store outside the month of February. I just know that sometime this week, I will find myself holding a can in one hand and a foil-wrapped "cheese" block in the other.
I will spend 45 minutes cubing the Velveeta while listening to a panel of five grown men laugh at a nonexistent joke on my television. I tell myself that cubing makes the dip smoother, but in reality, I just enjoy the anticipation. When combined with the chili, it will produce a concoction that is the color of a '70s shag rug (some shifting combination of yellow, orange and brown) and the rough consistency of paste. Inside of 15 minutes, that paste will have hardened to cement. If you were to stick a spoon in the bowl, you could hold the bowl upside down and over your head and nothing would move an inch. I'll admit that I have sacrificed Tupperware to the trash that has held chili-cheese dip for too long.
And so here I am on Monday morning, and I can barely wait six days for the tan gloop that I will cook at halftime during the game. They say confession is good for the soul. What Super Bowl dish can you not wait to eat but can't believe you actually will consume this weekend?
[Image via Flickr: Charles Williams]