We're a nation of eaters. We also love kitchen gadgets, even if we're on the fence about cooking. Williams-Sonoma has (smartly) found the sweet spot of kitchen items that will enable us to eat more and more ridiculous foods.
And despite a line of products from Curtis Stone, the resident chef on The Biggest Loser, the upscale shop isn't likely to be where you're headed if you're on a diet. As such, here are the five reasons that Williams-Sonoma will likely never sponsor The Biggest Loser.
5. Mini Cream Whipper ($55.00). Whipped cream on demand. That is simply too much dessert power for any one individual to wield in the kitchen. In the same way in which you find yourself watching Con Air on television because you can, you'll crack open the fridge door and depress the canister straight into your mouth. It should come with a shame setting that simply expunges the entirety of the can's contents.
4. Jalapeno Pepper Roaster ($19.95). Nobody should possess the home tools to crank out 18 pieces of the bedrock appetizer of the franchise world at one time. Jalapeno poppers are a bottomless food, in that you eat them until you reach the bottom of the basket, no matter how large the basket.
3. Chef's Choice Waffle Cone Maker ($49.95). The average guy at the 1904 World's Fair was simply blown away by the idea that ice cream could be eaten out of folded waffles. His counterpart over a century later can now crank out waffle cones in two minutes without even sniffing the fairgrounds. The highest level of cone technology that we can responsibly handle is probably the boxed sugar cones.
2. Cast-Iron Bacon Press. If you're buying a cast-iron press ($12.95), you're pot committed to bacon. And once you have one in the house, you'll probably be finding a lot more excuses to fry up some pig fat.
1. The Stuffed Hamburger Press. The two sides come together, a la Voltron, to form a 6-ounce burger filled with anywhere from 1 to 1.5 ounces of cheese and bacon. The end result is a burger that is roughly the size of your heart because that is what it will knock out of your chest.
[Images via Williams-Sonoma, Geekologie]