Monday, March 14, 2011

Clean up your damn language at Wolfburgers Cafe in Kansas City, Kansas

Posted By on Mon, Mar 14, 2011 at 3:53 PM

You have to be really #%&@* hungry to finish off a Wolfburger in Kansas City, Kansas.
  • You have to be really #%&@* hungry to finish off a Wolfburger in Kansas City, Kansas.

Maria Guiterrez -- the cheery proprietor and cook at the cozy little Wolfburgers Cafe at 3009 Strong Avenue in the Argentine district of Kansas City, Kansas -- has a handwritten sign posted in a prominent position in her dining room: "Please limit your bad language."

Limit? Does that mean measure it out carefully, using the f-word once every half-hour instead of, say, every third sentence?



"It means," says Guiterrez, "that we really don't want anyone swearing at all. We want our customers to watch their language when the restaurant is busy. This is a family restaurant."

click to enlarge FATCITY_Wolfburgers_venue.jpg
Guiterrez says the sign has worked: There's not nearly as much swearing in the restaurant as before she put it up. Still, the waitress who served us the last time I had lunch at Wolfburgers was such a sourpuss that I half-wondered if the sign had been put up for her benefit, because she sure looked as if she might unload a stream of expletives if someone crossed her or left her a stingy tip. Let's just say warm and friendly, she wasn't.

Guiterrez, on the other hand, has a beautiful dimpled smile and a contagiously bellowing laugh. She's been operating this unassuming little diner for the last two years. "There's been some kind of restaurant here since 1947," she says. "It's been called Wolfburgers for a long, long time."

The dining room is paneled in the kind of dark-wood veneer that reminded me of a suburban recreation room, circa 1972. The area near the wraparound counter is painted the same baby-blue shade -- "Larkspur Blue" -- of a 1957 Chevy Bel Air. Breakfast is served all day here, including a $7.10 combo platter featuring two eggs, two sausage patties, three strips of bacon, hash brown potatoes, and a choice of toast or a pancake.

The signature burger is a dauntingly large sandwich: two beef patties, each topped with melted American cheese and Swiss cheese and topped with two strips of bacon. Guiterrez says not many customers (including me) can finish a whole one. "We once had a 14-year-old boy who ate a triple burger," she says.

Wolfburgers is open every day and serves breakfast, lunch and daily specials -- Tuesday is spaghetti and meatball day -- from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday; on Sundays, the restaurant closes at 1 p.m.


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