We, the people of Kansas City, are ready for a Coca-Cola Freestyle -- the flavor squirting soda fountain capable of creating more than 100 soft drinks from a single vending machine. We understand that you had to work out the kinks since it debuted in 2009. We've patiently watched you roll out 650 locations, including two in nearby St. Louis. And, frankly, it's time for you to bring your soda vending machine of the future to the City of Fountains. Please consider this our formal request for machine number 651.
We have consistently demonstrated that we are capable of making smart choices when presented with an overwhelming number of options. We've been ordering drinks at Sonic for years, where there are more than a handful of terrible decisions possible, courtesy of the more than 168,000 potential drink options. We only ordered that blue coconut Coke once, and we'll never do it again.
Your first test locations were in Jack in the Box restaurants in Southern California. You know who just decided to get back into the Kansas City market after a 30-year absence? That's right, JITB. Join them; you'll find that we understand how to work a drive-through and a touch screen.
We were named the sixth fattest city in America last year by Men's Health. So while we may eat a lot, you know what we need to wash it down? An ice-cold Coca-Cola.
We look forward to hearing from you, and we will be glad to help you select the right location here in Kansas City for machine number 651.
Thirsty Kansas City