Thursday, October 27, 2011

The five celebrities that should be inspired by 'Wahlburgers' to open their own joints

The five celebrities that should open their own joints a la 'Wahlburgers'

Posted By on Thu, Oct 27, 2011 at 10:10 AM

Somewhere, someones drinking a pork cocktail.
  • Somewhere, someone's drinking a pork cocktail.
Life, on occasion, resembles The Onion. And when the news that Mark Wahlberg and his family had opened Wahlburgers in Hingham, Massachusetts, came across the transom this week, I assumed that this was a beautiful internet mock-up of the beefcake. Nope. Our Family. Our Story. Our Burgers. is happening.

If Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that Americans will consume something until they are sick of it and then move on to the next thing (think Disaster movies, Lost imitators and Eliza Dushku vehicles). As a result, there's only a short window for other celebrities to jump on the bandwagon and launch restaurants based on their names, but here are five that we think could get something up and running fairly quickly.

5. Applegates from Christina Applegate. Want to go for a round of pizza-tizers and Cosmos at Applegates? The first neighborhood restaurant designed for brassy ladies, who want to eat a meal and assert their independence.

4. Spears from Britney Spears. Come to Spears for some meat on a stick, y'all. It's kabobs brought to you by servers in sequins. The booths are all made of red pleather and Justin Timberlake is a silent investor.

3. Fishburn from Laurence Fishburne. It's Cajun-style seafood meets Backyard BBQ at this biker bar-themed fish shack. TVs around the dining room feature videos of the owner slowly taking off his sunglasses and earnestly asking, "Can you feel the burn? The fish...burn?"

2. Hamm & Buble from Jon Hamm. Saturday Night Live introduced the concept — Hamm and Buble. The moment has arrived to make that pork and champagne restaurant a reality from the Missouri son. Bubbly ham, anyone?

1. House of Bacon from Kevin Bacon. It's time for the often-imitated, never duplicated Kevin Bacon to cash in on his namesake. With the remake of Footloose, there are no longer any sacred cows when it comes to the venerable actor. It's time to let the pig loose on a menu that features America's favorite condiment.

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