Customers who are unhappy with the service they've gotten at a restaurant or a bar can easily make a statement about their feelings by leaving a lousy tip. A tip isn't an automatic gratuity, you know; it's the acronym for "To Insure Proper Service." It's also a payback for improper service: in a worst-case scenario, an effective way of flipping the bird with a couple of bucks.
But if you've ever wondered what members of the hospitality industry — servers, bartenders, hosts and hostesses, busboys — think about you, the opportunity is coming at 7 p.m. Friday, January 20, at the Writers Place (3607 Pennsylvania, 816-753-1090) ... and no tipping is required. The event, "I'll Be Your Server Tonight," is free and open to the public. (There will be a tip jar available for making donations to the Writers Place.)
The last time this literary organization hosted a servers-tell-all event was in 2002, when a Sunday-afternoon soiree called The Customers Is Always Wrong packed the venue with current and former members of the service trade presenting — open-microphone-style — hilarious and poignant stories, essays, poems and songs about life in the world of tipped employees: the good, the bad and the ugly. The celebrity host for the evening will be waiter, author and blogger David Hayden, who recently published a book, Tips 2: Tips for Improving Your Tips.
I've got stories galore about my years in the service — the restaurant service, that is — where I crawled my way from lowly busboy and dishwasher to the heights of success as a waiter. You know, the kind of understanding waiter who once threw a tip tray at a cheap teenage prom couple, scattering quarters and pennies everywhere.
Hayden says anyone wishing to perform at the spoken-word event can contact him at david@hospitalityformula.com or by calling 816-363-3268 before Saturday, January 14. For any servers or restaurant staffers — past or present — the evening is a creative opportunity to get back at bad tippers, abusive managers, drunken dishwashers, martinet assistant managers, coked-out owners, violent chefs and all of the fabulous characters who can make working in a real restaurant so much more interesting than anything one sees on a reality-TV restaurant show.
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Dang! I kind of thought you were busy, or I would have had lunch with you!
Maybe next time.....
Glad I caught this.
Wink- You should have introduced yourself. I was running to lunch, but could have stuck around to chat. It was recorded for KC Currents and should be on an upcoming episode.
Zman- I think masterful is an overstatement. I prefer "not bad for a waiter." I too was surprised how few rants there were. I went with my rantiest piece at the last minute so Abe wouldn't be disappointed, but even that wasnt too rough. I would love to do something like this again, but next time not on a Friday or Saturday night during restaurant week
Hard to mistake ME for Dave, but I will say that my wife and I attended and had a genuinely good time. Nice turnout and great presenters...a trip down memory lane to Cafe Lulu was a highlight for me. And much to the chagrin of anyone expecting a sign-your-paycheck-over-to-me bitchfest, the readings were thoughtful, well-written and most of the time hysterical. Meeting folks whom I hold in high regard is always a special bonus as well. Dave was masterful as the MC, no kidding. Hope to see more of these in 2012.
So Dave....how'd it go?
I was unable to attend, and wish I had more time to talk to you at KKFI last week when you were on Charles' show.
in many cities of the world serving is considered a profession not a just job to get you through school. some of us have chosen to work in restaurants be cause we enjoy the work. its like being at the party while being at work.
most of us take pride in the service we provide and the job we do. unfortunately, there are many classes of people who just see servers as lowly people who deserve nothing, least of all respect.
if the tip became obsolete and was just included in the price of your meal and if servers we just paid a salary instead of living on tips, most of you would not be able to afford to eat out. the employer would then have to pay way more in taxes, fica, workmans comp etc.and the price of a meal would escalate even more.
i do think guests should expect prompt, courteous service but i also think servers should expect courteous guests.
Is there any possibility of a Cage Match To The Death between Abe & Dave? Depending on who wins, all proceeds go to either the National Mean Spirited & Bitter Society or the International Fund For Retired Busboys, respectively.
"cheaper and more convenient"
We truly live in a wonderful country. Only here could someone claim that sheer laziness coupled with a level of stupidity that does not allow them to shop for and prepare their own food cheaper than what they can find in a sit-down full service restaurant makes them an economic martyr in these terrible times.
That damn Obama.
More restaurants are catching on. If you send them an email, facebook your feedback or yelp them they respond pretty quickly to food quality and service issues. Now if they would only come to your table and ask, they'd get more immediate feedback and not spend so much time surfing the web to find out what is happening in their restaurant. Oh, and BTW, some folks go out to eat because it can be cheaper and more convenient than cooking at home.....that doesn't mean they can afford to tip 20% for every meal. The economy still sucks for many people, look at the bright side....they are still spending money in restaurants. Send complaints to the POTUS.
"not tipping or leaving pennies is like stealing"
But failure to provide the service for which you're being tipped isn't?
oh yea, these douchers again.
Mr. Pink wannabe vs skippy the wonder waiter.
People who claim to tip 30 percent are liars or are spot on because their one-top meal at applebees came to 12.50 and they tipped 3.75 to feel like a big man.
I have no problems with waiters, just the ones that complain about their low pay and/or tips, which unfortunately is a high percentage. They have to freedom to choose another job if they'd like, but instead most of them would rather be spiteful and have get togethers to talk shit. I might be a jerk, but only when I find your opinion or actions stupid.
Abe, you have to be saving time by copy and pasting these comments. You have made that accusation at me before. I have never complained about a tip on this blog. I have seven blogs of my own where I have never complained about a tip. I don't doubt that you are a fine tipper, but your comments here have made it clear that you think very poorly of people in my profession. To paraphrase the commenter last time you posted this comment, I don't think you are a bad tipper, but you have proven yourself to be a jerk.
I don't think Dave would ever be happy unless customers started signing over their paychecks as tips. All you do is create a culture of entitled waiters who think that bad service should still be rewarded. Tipping started out as a form of generosity, but nowadays it's a surcharge. Maybe all you waiters complaining about not getting your 20% should focus your anger on the the balanced budget act of 1984 which allowed tips to be taxable income and restaurants to pay less than minimum wage to waitstaff. It is not my fault you choose a job that informs you before you start working that they pay $2.13/hr.
10% manditory tip? When did tipping become a right? Should we get Congress to pass a bill on it?
I know Dave won't believe me, but I am actually a good tipper who gives 25-30%. That doesn't mean it's an automatic tip. Especially when the restaurant isn't busy and my server disappears for over half the meal. I'll never give zero or coins, but if you suck at your job I'm not giving you free money. You'll get a couple dollars but nothing more. If you attend functions like this to complain about customers instead of figuring out which bad tippers were assholes and which ones were because of your bad service, it just reflects on how sad and greedy you are.
Is anyone else noting the inherent contradiction running through the comments. There are those who state that serving isn't a real job or that it is a simple job. Then there are those who are highly offended that servers are not providing professional service. I think everyone needs to pick a side. Either we are just suffering from poor life decisions that have doomed us to a life of working for $2.13 an hour and begging you for generousity or we should perform like professionals in order to make your dining experience perfect. Has anyone stopped to think that the poor service story comments might be linked to the "not a real job" attitude displayed in other comments? In environments where servers are treated as professionals, they tend to provide professional service.
Abe- I didn't think you would choose to grace us with your presence. Most internet toughguys are afraid to expose themselves in real life. Those of us who have been on the internet long enough realize that people like you who search the internet for places to spew vile comments are pretty sad and lonely in real life.
Total asshole servers and customers have always and will always be found in every tier of dining. I've known plenty of servers with an unrealistically high sense of entitlement, and just as many family members or co-workers who (for God knows what reason) will continue to go back to the same places and get the exact same, shitty service and be total assholes about it...as if their behavior will magically fix everything ONE OF THESE TIMES. I'm convinced that these are people (on both sides of the counter) who make up for their lack of authority in the real world by over-compensating with their utter destruction of basic civility and common sense..."this is a place where my voice FINALLY matters, Smithers get ready to release the hounds on my command".
Bad service can definitely ruin my experience no matter how good the food may be. I don't superglue a quarter to the table as a big F-U or make a scene, I just never go back. At the same time, when I find truly GREAT service (and I love the food), it is my primary goal to grow old with that same server, and if they should ever take another job or die, I allow them to pass me on to another highly recommended server in their will. Good dining companions are equally as important to me, because if they aren't vetted and act like an ass then I get to take my lack of authority in the real world out on THEM.
Anyway, we'll totally be there next Friday night. All of the whiney customer/server bullshit aside, stories about asshole customers are just WAY funnier. My only regret is that at 7pm on a Friday night we'll be missing out on some real-time stories from a ton of good servers. David, maybe you should get some Skype feeds set up across town, lol.
I really wish all restaurants would add at min..10% to each bill, because that is the very least that should be left. If you are unhappy with your service there are options...take it up with the manager, communicate with your server, don't go back to the restaurant.
The Weasel way of not tipping or leaving pennies is like stealing from someone who is trying pay their way through school, or trying to pay their electric bill. I've waited tables before sometimes not even making minimum wage(I think at that particular restaurant the owner was stealing our tips), it's one of the hardest jobs I've ever had, one day it was so bad I was in the restroom crying, and I heard the other waitress she was also trying to compose herself from the horrible day of tips, she said she wasn't going to be able to make her car payment.
Next time you have that waitress/waiter who's trying to force a smile, know they are probably worried about how they are going to get by because of someone who recently stiffed them. No one likes to work for freeee! Specially with a job you know your smiles, and service count! Try to make their job easier, give them a break!
When I get bad service at a restaurant, I'm usually pretty vocal about it to the people I eat with...however, the worst tip I will ever give is around 15%...One server friend of mine always gets mad at me when I call out a server on bad service (never to their face, but amongst my fellow diners)...her comment usually entails "the restaurant is busy/they may be having a bad day.etc. etc.
Here's the deal servers...Your job is simple. Know the menu. Be nice to customers. Deliver food. You can make or break a dining experience. It is your job to be courteous - being snotty because your section is full is not an excuse. The owners don't put out tables and chairs for them to sit empty so you need to assume that the house will be full - and don't whine if its not.
Also, Abe, I agree with you - servers don't seem to understand when they get a bad tip that it usually means you were a bad server. Not hard to put two and two together.
Btw, the Peanut on Main - while I love their food and the atmosphere, it has the worst bartenders/servers in the City. I literally want to clock each one every time I am there.
Johneric-I would have enjoyed shoving $4 more down the waitresses throat, and screaming back at her, "YOU"RE WELCOME!"
Savvy Dave-I thought that was you. Good luck, and I will try to make it, provided I dont have to work.
I'm always tickled when a female server wears a "WAITRESS FROM HELL" pin. You guys need to get a grip.
Cue up: THE MERCHANT'S LUNCH by the Red Clay Ramblers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjHToihXC94
The reason I never went back to Otto's on 39th St. was the mean waitress. We had finished our dinner, I got up to pay the bill and to get change to leave for a tip. My partner had a dollar and put that on the table and went to the restroom. I got my change and was walking back to the table to leave my portion of the tip. Waitress comes up to me in my face and says, "Hey really - THANKS FOR THE DOLLAR!" Well, in the end that is all she got because I walked right out the door never to return. I can see how she may have misunderstood what was going on but she would have gotten her full tip had she not thrown an attitude at me.
waiting is what you do when your going to school or looking for a job. It's what you continue to do when you can't find one.
David, thanks but I would never allow someone like you the opportunity to be in my presence.
The problem with 99% of waiters is when you leave a bad tip, most of them don't get why you left a bad tip. Instead it's just "omg can you believe that guy stiffed me?". Granted some people are dicks and never tip, but it's getting to the point where a good tipper doesn't have the right to give that lower tip for bad service lest they end up not being able to get decent service ever again at that restaurant, or worse, end up on twitter or some no-name blog run by a guy who thinks he's the world's best waiter. Hi David!
A good waiter can make the meal, so they're entitled to both gratuity and gratitude when they perform well.
My first experience with upscale service was at Original Joe's on Taylor Street in San Francisco back in the late '70s. Most of the servers were European - talk about your attitudes; they had it in spades. But you never had to ask for more bread or a water glass to be refilled, and if you treated them well in return, they remembered you and always made you feel welcome - almost more like a family member than a customer.
"They hold little pissy parties like this to promote their pompousness.." -Abe
Well anyone who has ever been a waiter knows it's a humbling job, and not one many can do well. In the age of Yelp, Google, and countless other restaurant/server "review" sites -many from people who have no business judging food- I applaud events like this as a chance for waiters to keep their sense of humor, as well as a chance to judge the customer back for once. Just remember, we're judging you back...
The worst waiter I ever had was in the 70's. I was in a more upscale restaurant and out of my league. They had Calamari steak on the menu and I didn't know what it was but he recommended it. After he served it and I was halfway through the meal he came to the table and in a smarmy tone asked, "How do you like your squid, sir?" He had served me seafood without telling me and thought it was funny. I started gagging and told him I was allergic to seafood and to call an ambulance. I wasn't allergic, just pissed. The manager came running to the table and I told him what had happened. He fired the server on the spot and comped the meal. I never went back.
I hope to see you there Abe. I will have a seat in the front row waiting for you.
I hate how waiters act as if they're the only job field to be continually shit on by bosses and customers. They hold little pissy parties like this to promote their pompousness.
It's called a job. If it was supposed to be sunshine and roses it would be a vacation.
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