Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The five foods Kansas City should leave to other cities

Posted By on Tue, May 29, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Sadly, bagels are not something that can be harvested in KC.
  • Pepperell Farmers Market
  • Sadly, bagels are not something that can be harvested in KC.
Cities have been outlawing salt and trans fats, and requiring full disclosure on menus for years. But it's time that Kansas City took the next step. I think we need to ban several foods originating in other cities, the dishes that are intrinsic to those municipalities in the same way that KC lays claim to burnt ends. It's not enough to re-create another place's specialty; you've got to be able to overcome a lack of history, geographic relevance and potentially secret ingredients.

Here are the top five iconic city dishes that should be banned from this city.

5. Bagels. Kansas City can't seem to keep a bagel shop that's not a chain. And most of the sugary circles in town are more sister than cousin to doughnuts. This is one hole that we should accept in our culinary repertoire.

4. 99-cent shrimp cocktail. Seafood shouldn't be cheap in the Midwest. Thankfully, I don't know of a shrimp cocktail that dips below the $1 line, but let's keep it that way. Some Las Vegas promotions should stay in Vegas.

3. Philly cheesesteaks. With apologies to Grinders, this is one that shouldn't have escaped the sweaty, sausage fingers of Philadelphia denizens. We are meat eaters here, and the attraction to try and bring such a tradition west is understandable, but cheese and meat should be left to burgers (the Z-Man notwithstanding).

2. Cincinnati chili. The thin sauce that the Ohio town calls "chili" is more likely to be sweet than spicy - almost the dessert of the hot dog or spaghetti toppings. KC deserves chili that is heartier in flavor and body, like the smoky bowl with fork-tender hunks of meat from Woodyard Bar-B-Que.

1. Lobster rolls. Big chunks of fresh lobster meat on a glorified hot-dog bun need to be geographically contained to near a body of water where those lobsters could have theoretically been caught. Some dishes taste like vacation, and coastal cities in places like Ogunquit, Maine, have earned the right to hold on to this sandwich.

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