These two stops are only 207 feet apart, 45 seconds from door to door. And those 207 feet will seem a lot longer than 45 seconds because every second that you delay this glorious combo is a second you regret. Read on, but first get in your car because you need to be there by the time you finish reading this.
Your initial stop is San Antonio Carniceria y Tortilleria (830 Kansas Avenue) in Kansas City, Kansas. You will be distracted when you walk inside. Is it a grocery store? A butcher shop? A restaurant? It's all three. But you're there for one thing: a plastic bag softly knotted and filled with (pray for it) slightly warm, buttery tortillas the size of a Frisbee. You'll be tempted to sit down and get a plate of what they're serving. Most days, that's not a bad choice at all. But today, you're making the ultimate burrito. And for that, you need some discipline. Fork over your three dollars and try not to open the bag before you walk out. Push through the door and turn right.
Once there, order a pollo entero (a whole chicken) for $12 (the only other item on the menu is a half chicken). It will arrive in a white Styrofoam box with flour tortillas, smoky pinto beans, salsa and rice. A side of pickled red onions will be handed to you in a Ziploc baggie. You should also ask for an avocado — they're in a basket on the counter waiting to be sliced. Throw in an additional container of rice and beans and you're out the door after handing over $17.
Then start assembling your burritos in the parking lot because you'll never have the will to wait until you get home. Put down a layer of rice in order to catch the drippings from the beans. After that, tear off hunks of smoked chicken and crispy skin (except the drumsticks, these you raise to the heavens and devour) to fill out the tortilla. Then pile on a few hunks of ripe, green avocado and vinegary red onion. This is a happy marriage. The kind of bliss that all marriages should know. This is the best burrito in Kansas City.