I want you to know that I'm not angry. I'm not charred. I'm not bitter. In fact, I'm glad that you've found someone else. We were never going to be exclusive. I'm a barbecue of the people. I could never be reserved for one person. But that doesn't mean I won't forget our time together and what you've meant to me. I know you feel the same. You told The Birmingham News that very thing.
I also want to thank you because you opened my eyes to what food TV can do for me. I've gone on to star in more shows than I can count. And I want you to know, you're always welcome to guest star on anything where I'm featured.
You're a sweet kid, Tony, with a big heart underneath all that salty language. And I know you'll never be one of those terrible people who foresakes all other barbecue in the name of the one true pit.
You say you found religion in Austin with a brisket from Franklin Barbecue. I just hope you remember that the only reason your soul could be saved is because I gave you that soul just a few short years ago.
Yours,
Kansas City Barbecue
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