@Donatella: "what we think is direct, honest, funny and friendly comes off to some of them as rude" -- that is so true! Jersey girl here with no friends. Wanna hang?
Fortunately for me, I managed to dodge the bullet,,,I was in a band at the time and we were still in the rehearsal stage so I was interested in finding other avenues to generate income, The guitarist told me about an audition opportunity with Rick West so I went with him to the audition. I play bass and sing and was on ricks radar when he attempted to throw me off with a wave of his arms to indicate a stop. Old school Stuff.....so after the rehearsal he brought us all into his office for a personal interview and when it was my turn, he started off by asking me why I was there, I immediately told him, MONEY! ...When he said that I would have to work with him for free until the show got off the ground, I said well I would except a notarized contract stating the terms of my obligation and a compensation agreement either hourly or weekly. He Immediately walked to the door and said thank you for your time! never heard from him again.....I just knew something wasn't right with this guy
Hey Justin, the Fannect Team would like to send a huge 'Thank You' to you for such an awesome article! Much thanks to you and the Pitch staff for your hard work. For everyone else, be sure to pre-register for Fannect at http://www.fannect.me/pre-register-for-fan… so we can send you a quick note the second the app comes out.
So calling yourselves the meth busting capitol of the nation/world wouldn't imply that you are, in fact, the meth producing capitol of the nation/world?
I grew up here - but change your marital status - and look at. He is exactly right. Awesome place to raise a family, but not to be single. Lol - my friends all have fabulous advice - join a group. Which one would you join? Response is always...well, I don't know - I'm married. Ok - pretend your husband dies......blank stare. Lol - I'll have learned all the home repair skills they never knew they needed - so I'll have friends again.
You seem to have an accurate view of Kansas Citians. We are nice but not overly welcoming. Maybe to people from other areas of the country we are boring. I will say that when I was living near Boston it was very easy to meet people, much more so than in KC.
I sort of feel like we midwesterners are sheltered a bit. We (in general) are not sure what to do with life so we take the path of least resistance. This partly explains why Missourians don't seem to care which political party someone belongs to: if your name is well-known then you will get their vote because they don't actually spend time following issues.
As a writer, I can only assume you are an introvert. Don't be shy about walking up to people and striking up a conversation. Some will be put off by this but it's not like they are going to punch you for saying "Hi, my name is Matt."
Offer to buy your readers drinks, then you will find yourself with more friends than you can count!
As a native east coaster who has spent collectively 7 years in the midwest (1.5 of those years in KC), I definitely agree with the "very friendly, but overly welcoming" culture here. It took almost a year for me to find my way in KC - that happened not via churches (which seems to be the first thing people recommend as a place to meet people), but via engaging in activities you are interested in (volunteering, the Arts, etc). The single scene here is probably the worst I have seen (and I've lived in a number of different cities both large and small), especially if you are in your late 20's/early 30's.
Can a guy make some friends? What an unadulterated heaping, steaming pile of shit. What about the freaks running the city like Sly and the family stoned? Where is the hard hitting news of the David Martin days?? Find some muck and rake it. How about something about development in the city and the dysfunctional bunch at the kc economic develoment corp? How irrelevant. The Star has been castrated for years and now The Pitch writes about fruity drinks served by the best bartender in town. How about some copy for those of us who don't drink the koolaid or waste our time at haunted houses.
I moved to KC as a fresh eyed 20 year old back in 1993. Freshly married. Got divorced about 2001. Moved back to Raleigh NC in late 2007 after many years single. KC is a great area if you are newly wed or nearly dead. As a single guy back int he 200's I was around when much of downtown was revitalized. And I perpetually had to scratch for a date. the dating market for a 30 something there was HORRIBLE. I finally moved to NC and my luck and life changed dramatically. I do miss the cheap rents though! (At least compared to Chapel hill!)
I was friends with Amber and Nadia at Loyola. Amber was my next door neighbor my junior year and her sophomore when she was living with Jason. We quickly became friends. Even though I last saw her at a reggae bar on Clark street in Wrigleyville in '03, I still cherish her friendship. Almost 10 years later, I was reminiscing about college when I remembered what I had heard in Chicago in 2004. She was a great friend. She did not judge anyone nor did she look down on anyone. Amber always had a smile and was always happy to see you. My thoughts and prayers still go out to her family, friends, and loved ones.
DK
Great article. I am literally in the process of moving back to KC right now...I'm writing this from Arizona on the drive from San Francisco (southern route)...after being there 14 years. I lived in KC right after college for 6 years....left for a job...and moving back for a variety of reasons.
I still have friends from my time there, so am starting with a small pool of familiar people. And my family is in the general area. That said, I'm quite anxious about meeting new people. I do not yet have a job (adventure!!) so hopefully when that is resolved, it will provide an additional kick-start. I agree with the author and others posting here....beyond work, it's finding activities/causes you care about and jumping in with both feet. My fingers are crossed that this move is a great one...and the job search short. Thanks for the article.
Wow. Seriously?! You are going to find the same situation in LALA, or Chicago, or where ever you go unless you kick it up a notch. If you live in an apartment building and want somebody to play chess with put up some signs saying so, or have an indie 80s movie night at your apartment. Start a tenant/resident association that meets at bar down the block every other week. Go to trivia, introduce yourself and ask to join a team. go to Roanoke Park and walk on to the kick ball game or join the larpers. Go to a presentation at the library. Take a communiversity class. Join one of the really cool churches in Westport. Volunfreakingteer! There are enough weirdo hipster d-bags around you should be able to find something better to do than sulk in your apartment. Who wants to hang out with that?!
Just engage in something--even as someone not affiliated with a workplace, you could have made time to volunteer for something--a kitchen, a political campaign, as an usher for a local theater.... this was an odd, odd, article.
maybe you're just a weird dude that no one wants to be around......go check out the classifieds....under escorts!
Sounds like the problem isn't living in KC; it's being self-employed. Most people make a lot of their friends through their jobs. You don't have to change careers, but you should try to find a part-time job. Look for something with at least a dozen or more employees, preferably with a lot of interaction among them. My suggestion: be a restaurant server for 3-4 shifts per week. You will definitely increase your circle of friends and acquaintances -- especially if it's around the Plaza and Westport, where restaurants are staffed by people with a wide variety of interests and ambitions.
Ok, I am posting more here. There is something about Kansas City that is hard for us East Coast people to take and that is that what we think is direct, honest, funny and friendly comes off to some of them as rude. They want to help you improve your manners. Which is annoying. And you are right that people are welcoming but don't really seem to engage in the insta-intimacy that you get in New York, where everyone strikes up conversations everywhere. And fight pretty easily. Oh, buy some stuff for your apartment. Go to one of the many antique malls and buy some nice/funky stuff (cheap) for your apartment. And make friends on your job.
Good luck to you!!!!!
I am a New Yorker and I moved to Kansas City for a job at an energy company. The people from my job were welcoming but I made friends from the church I went to. This may not be your thing. But these people were great. They had an amazing choir and I sang Mozart and other great music every Thursday night and every Sunday. And that may not sound like your thing but it fanned out to meeting people who were involved in all kinds of sports. I used to swim at UMKC where they have a great pool. I belonged to the Kansas City Club which I HATED and quit. I tried to be a docent at the Nelson Atkins Museum, which is an incredible museum, but they didn't want somebody from Brooklyn (being a rich matron from KC would have been a start). I bought a house. Once you meet a few friends, then you INVITE them over. Have parties,
I am older than you and female, but I would look into doing some sports. Join a team.
I left Kansas City when Enron blew up the energy industry and they closed my company.
I was happy to come home (live in Brooklyn again) but it was a good experience there.
Good luck. For God's sake, stay away from Craig's list.
Do I sound like your mother?? Sorry. Good luck!!!
KC is what you make of it. Moved here from Jersey and found it fairly easy to meet both men and women. I do understand, though, how KC people sometimes can be really nice, and hard to get close to at the same time. With a little time and effort you can carve out a nice niche here. Remember 90% of life is showing up! Get out of that apartment!
Stop being a weirdo hermit and you'll easily find friends. If you are a weirdo, just don't be a hermit and other weird people will find you.
So to recap, don't be a hermit.
Re: “Start me up: The Pitch innovation issue”
I'm working on an app that pop's popcorn.