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Emily Cox
The food at Port Fonda is top-notch, sure, but the artsy-glamorous staff is no small part of the Westport hot spot's appeal. Safely consider it a lucky day if Emily Cox, an adorable UMKC student studying psychology (with minors in Spanish and holistic medicine), is the server taking your pork-and-ricotta-meatball order.
Age: 20
Job: Server at Port Fonda
Relationship status: Have a boyfriend.
What's your go-to drink? Horsefeather
What's your guiltiest musical pleasure? Beyoncé, maybe? Does Blackstreet count?
What's the last thing that made you cry? The movie Ted. There's this part where you think the teddy bear is going to get ripped apart. He doesn't. But it's sad when you think he's going to. Sorry, I just ruined the movie if you haven't seen it yet.
What's on your nightstand? A mineral-salt lamp, a Charles Bukowski book, an alarm clock, body butter
What's the coolest thing in your home? My cat, Jun
What's the lamest pickup line you've ever heard? I had a guy once ask if it hurt when I fell from heaven. Very tacky.
What's the best way for someone to hit on you? Flatter me.
Dumped or dumper? In previous relationships, I've been the dumped. But I think now I would be the dumper. But I've been with my boyfriend for four years now, so it's not really a thought.
What's your foolproof date restaurant? Port Fonda
If you want to impress me, feed me ... Red velvet cake
At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Manifesto
What's your workout? Bikram yoga
What's your pettiest relationship deal-breaker? I hate when dudes wear open-toed shoes, like sandals or flip-flops.
What do you do when you think nobody's looking? I'm an extreme talk-to-myself person, probably more than the average person. I also pick my nose, but who doesn't?
With whom would you like to play Truth or Dare? Johnny Knoxville. He seems like he would have some good dares. Probably some good truths, too.
Have you ever been the other woman? Not that I'm aware of.
What character flaw do you wish you could fix in yourself? I have a tendency to speak without thinking beforehand. It usually doesn't end up working out very well.
What are you most vain about? My butt
What physical feature are you a sucker for? A strong jaw line. Broad shoulders.
Who's on your crush list? David Beckham
Jim Sturgill
We're sneaking Jim Sturgill just under the single-guy wire, as he's about to explain. But since when has a crush heeded availability? Besides, he doesn't mind if we're into him for his mind. Funny guys are used to that, and Sturgill, part of the improv troupe Babel Fish (which roasts the 1990s love-on-ice classic The Cutting Edge at Screenland Crossroads February 22), is as quick-witted a dude as we've found in this town.
Age: 31
Occupation: Project manager
Relationship status: Engaged
What's your go-to drink?
Whiskey — Balvenie Doublewood is a favorite, but Jack Daniel's is ubiquitous. A good bartender will make a drink that will change your life, but finding one of those is like finding a best friend. Ordering the straight booze takes the risk out of a 22-year-old jackass screwing up your night.
What's your guiltiest musical pleasure? Coheed and Cambria: soaring prog-rock melodies and sci-fi narratives about saving the universe from a supreme magic wizard — what's not to love?
What's the last thing that made you cry? An episode of the podcast Roderick on the Line. I was crying with laughter and sadness for all mankind. Supertrain will save us. You'll see.
What's on your nightstand? My Kindle, an iPhone dock and a lamp
What's the coolest thing in your home? Probably my Saddleback briefcase. It's heavy-duty leather and makes me look much more serious than I actually am.
What's the lamest pickup line you've ever heard (or used)? "I need your help. I'm from the future." I used that in Minneapolis, so it was kind of true.
What's the best way for someone to hit on you? Be smart. Be funny.
Dumped or dumper? Historically, I'm the dumper. Wow, 10-year-old me is really excited about that sentence being in a public profile.
What's your foolproof date restaurant? Julian in Brookside. Great staff, great atmosphere, world-class drinks, and if your date doesn't like the hush puppies, you don't want anything to do with her anyway.
If you want to impress me, feed me ... Your favorite food. Doesn't mean I'll like it, but it tells me something about you.
At what bar or restaurant would you like to have an open tab? Bier Station just opened a few blocks from my house.
What's your workout? Started lifting weights seriously again. Lots of compound movements: squats, cleans, other terrible, terrible things.
What's your pettiest relationship deal-breaker? Not liking Aaron Sorkin TV shows. I'm a fan.
What do you do when you think nobody's looking? Sing in the car and get some pretty raucous air drums going.
With whom would you like to play Truth or Dare? The Pope. It'd be some pretty interesting answers or some pretty interesting pictures.
Have you ever been the other man or woman? I think a girl broke up with her boyfriend to start seeing me and then started seeing him again without breaking it off with me. So I think in that situation we were both the other guy?
What character flaw do you wish you could fix in yourself? My socially crippling overconfidence.
What are you most vain about? Probably my hair. Kayla Bachman at Speak in the Crossroads keeps me from looking like a hippie. Mostly.
What physical feature are you a sucker for? Smiles: quality and teeth. The importance of orthodontia cannot be overstated.
Who's on your crush list? I'm writing this about 10 minutes before I propose to my soon-to-be fiancée. She's smart, funny and incredibly well-read. I'm a pretty smart guy, and she has a knack for blowing my mind with knowledge. Also, she's super-hot. So I got that going for me. (She said yes.)
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