maybe you're just a weird dude that no one wants to be around......go check out the classifieds....under escorts!
Sounds like the problem isn't living in KC; it's being self-employed. Most people make a lot of their friends through their jobs. You don't have to change careers, but you should try to find a part-time job. Look for something with at least a dozen or more employees, preferably with a lot of interaction among them. My suggestion: be a restaurant server for 3-4 shifts per week. You will definitely increase your circle of friends and acquaintances -- especially if it's around the Plaza and Westport, where restaurants are staffed by people with a wide variety of interests and ambitions.
Ok, I am posting more here. There is something about Kansas City that is hard for us East Coast people to take and that is that what we think is direct, honest, funny and friendly comes off to some of them as rude. They want to help you improve your manners. Which is annoying. And you are right that people are welcoming but don't really seem to engage in the insta-intimacy that you get in New York, where everyone strikes up conversations everywhere. And fight pretty easily. Oh, buy some stuff for your apartment. Go to one of the many antique malls and buy some nice/funky stuff (cheap) for your apartment. And make friends on your job.
Good luck to you!!!!!
I am a New Yorker and I moved to Kansas City for a job at an energy company. The people from my job were welcoming but I made friends from the church I went to. This may not be your thing. But these people were great. They had an amazing choir and I sang Mozart and other great music every Thursday night and every Sunday. And that may not sound like your thing but it fanned out to meeting people who were involved in all kinds of sports. I used to swim at UMKC where they have a great pool. I belonged to the Kansas City Club which I HATED and quit. I tried to be a docent at the Nelson Atkins Museum, which is an incredible museum, but they didn't want somebody from Brooklyn (being a rich matron from KC would have been a start). I bought a house. Once you meet a few friends, then you INVITE them over. Have parties,
I am older than you and female, but I would look into doing some sports. Join a team.
I left Kansas City when Enron blew up the energy industry and they closed my company.
I was happy to come home (live in Brooklyn again) but it was a good experience there.
Good luck. For God's sake, stay away from Craig's list.
Do I sound like your mother?? Sorry. Good luck!!!
KC is what you make of it. Moved here from Jersey and found it fairly easy to meet both men and women. I do understand, though, how KC people sometimes can be really nice, and hard to get close to at the same time. With a little time and effort you can carve out a nice niche here. Remember 90% of life is showing up! Get out of that apartment!
Stop being a weirdo hermit and you'll easily find friends. If you are a weirdo, just don't be a hermit and other weird people will find you.
So to recap, don't be a hermit.
Joined Meet Up online K.C. area for the social networking stuff and looking into career possibilities. Left it for now, not sure if it was a big mistake doing so. I would agree with another commentor that looking for friends explicitly without something of common interest could more likely be a dud...I mean sure you may or may not socialize with your neighbor but who does this sort of socialization these days?! Then there is an art to socialization and speaking in general I imagine whether hosting a well rounded set of interests or finding artfully a way of connecting with someone on similar interests. Grew up in K.C. area by the way, if you grew up here likely a lot easier then moving in cold turkey without knowing someone. Anyways liked the article!
Great writing, but it reads like setting out to find examples of being excluded and finding them. These victim mentality, blame KC sentiments are a relic of another time. Go out and DO STUFF and try NOT to meet people. Like anything, it just takes the slightest bit of effort. Kansas City as a whole is the antithesis of some exclusive club: it is exceptionally easy to get involved and connect in a meaningful way.
Extremely well written article. I moved here a year and a half ago for a job and didn't know a soul, so I can relate to this on so many levels. Especially the "very friendly, but overly welcoming" piece. I have met a lot of friends through work/my adventures, but I still feel like I haven't found that "niche" group of friends yet. Keep on fighting the good fight and good luck in LA!
My husband and I moved here about a year and a half ago. We bought a lovely house in Waldo after looking at many neighborhoods. We've met a lot of people while walking our dog around the neighborhood and while working in our large vegetable garden. That might not apply to those in apartments, of course. That said, we both work from home most of the time, and we don't have kids, so it's hard to meet other people who want to go out and do something fun, and it can be isolating here. I felt that this summer, when it was just heat wave after heat wave, and we all holed up in our air-conditioned houses to escape it. Maybe I'll feel it again this winter (if we have one).
I recently ran into another new neighbor at a grocery store, who pretty much asked me to be her friend after discovering that Waldo wasn't as overtly welcoming as she thought it would be. The people here are really nice, but they really don't go out of their way to welcome you, which is a shame, really, given the otherwise small-town feel of many of KC's neighborhoods. I think we're all missing out a little by not going out of our way more...but people are busy, I get it. And scared, maybe.
And on that note, I disagree with the author's Craigslist statistic. The creepsters on there are not a mere 40%....more like about 90%, at least in the "platonic" section.
Best of luck. I went through those struggles moving from KC to Massachusetts-Kansas Citians are SOOOOO different from Massachusettians-not bad just different. It tooka a year and a half to meet friends and then after 3 years I moved back. I still have very fond memories of Massachusetts. Just remember, you're welcome to move back any time!
Great finished story, Matt. Thanks for letting me be a part of it! To clarify, I think the best way *to* get involved is to find your groups. I don't think it ends up being that hard to meet people as long as you're willing to leave your West Plaza apartment.
I'll be eager to hear how LA does it differently! Best of luck with everything.
Jessica Best
@bestofjess
hey man, you got talent. keep writing such good stuff....
Thoughtful, and very well-written. I moved to KC not knowing a soul and things went much eadier for me through work connections. I didn't realize what a blessing that was until now.
I saw a big fat rat pacing the sideline at Arrowhead Stadium. I heard someone call him Romeo!
not a fan of rats :(
Raise your hand if you ever waited in the trunk of a car to score some coke AND you own a comedy club.
Glazer eats pieces of Wink for breakfast! I love that dude..He's earning my business tonight.
Glazer and Wink.......STFU you're both tools.
Re: “Can't a guy just make some friends around here? Maybe.”
Just engage in something--even as someone not affiliated with a workplace, you could have made time to volunteer for something--a kitchen, a political campaign, as an usher for a local theater.... this was an odd, odd, article.