You know what would suck? Being the person over at Getty Images or wherever who is asked to photograph a thousand arresting images of water bottles to illustrate stories like this one. (Good story, by the way.)
This party just filled up with people I don't know. Mr. Briefs, did you invite your dorm friends or something?
Either way, hi, everybody!
When (the) Trevor gets here, just smile and nod.
Oh. There you are, Mr. Briefs. I kept checking earlier, and all I found were photos of nice young men playing dress-up.
Are Jitterbug phones what George Michael was singing about at the beginning of "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go"? Now that I think about it, what was he singing about on the rest of that song, too?
But you don't know html!
Gawd,kokubetsu. The sexism here is sickening. If a male candidate has a special needs child, nobody complains about it at all. Case in point-- George H. W. Bush.
If this space were a 3 by 5 customer comment card, the following are the boxes I would check before returning it to the Daily Briefs counter to get my gift certificate:
1. The Internet.
2. White/Not Hispanic.
3. Strongly Agree.
4. Somewhat agree.
5. 3 to 5 times a week.
6. Ross Balano updates.
7. Does Not Apply.
8. I have not had sex with a memeber of the same sex, or an African national, since 1978.
9. Highly Satasfied.
10. (The) Trevor.
Re: “Daily Briefs: Strong buy on Kevlar”
Wow, Mr. Briefs. It's so quiet in here. It seems to just be you and I.
I brought a bottle of something special. Why don't you put something nice and easy on the stereo, and put on something a little more comfortable. Those dungarees do look like they might be confining.
Do you like what I'm wearing? I picked them up at Nigro's. Come close and take a sip. Sniff it first! Let it ease into you. Now that you're close, let me say the wrods I've been burning to tell you all day ... "The Lee Judge and Mayor Funkhouser paragraph was a sublime."
Oh, Mr. Briefs.
OH, Mr. Briefs!