Gloria Squitiro is one unconventional first lady.
She’s from a strange place — Long Island, the inscrutable East. She teaches natural childbirth. And after helping her husband, Mark Funkhouser, become mayor, she went to work with him. She even has a desk at City Hall (though she accepts no salary).
But where does originality end and looniness begin?
The question begs an answer, upon the dissemination of what’s now widely known as “the Christmas letter.” In the couple’s annual holiday greeting, Squitiro described her husband’s first prostate exam in mortifying detail. Media outlets and bloggers posted copies, and the letter zipped around town from friend to friend, borne on e-mails with expressions of horror in their subject lines. Already a controversial subject, Squitiro, in writing the letter, tossed a gas can on the debate about her role in public affairs — and her state of mind. The conversation in many salons, real and virtual, seems to have edged from “I think she’s hurting Mark” to “I think she might be bipolar.”
Here, then, is a compendium of Squitiro’s actions and comments, with possible psychiatric explanations.
Bedside viewing of husband’s invasive medical procedure elicits squeals of delight (“highlight of the year,” “the biggest joy of mine,” “I waited in gleeful anticipation”). Click here for the diagnosis.
Accepts the use of a free hybrid from a local Honda dealer. Defends the decision, saying “regular folks everywhere” told the first couple to keep the car. Click here for the diagnosis.
Totes the memoir of Marjorie Beach, the wife of a Pendergast-era mayor, around City Hall. Click here for the diagnosis.
Asks the chief of police to bodyguard the mayor during his ventures into neighborhoods populated by dark-skinned people. Click here for the diagnosis.
Reportedly calls an African-American aide “Mammy.” Click here for the diagnosis.
Squitiro-written, ostensibly homey newsletter, “Funk’s Front Porch,” takes a defensive stance, bemoaning criticism of what’s happening in the mayor’s office as “the attacks on our family.” Click here for the diagnosis.
Requires express elevator rides to the 29th floor. Click here for the diagnosis.
Has a fear of flying. Click here for the diagnosis.
“I got lucky in my choice of men. But he’s more lucky than I am.” Click here for the diagnosis.
“I just hope I’m not Mary Todd Lincoln, ’cause she went crazy when her kids died.”¹ Click here for the diagnosis.
“So many times, I look at Funk and think, Man, if reincarnation exists, you probably are Abe Lincoln.” Click here for the diagnosis.
In exchange to agreeing to her husband’s run for public office, Squitiro requires Funkhouser to sign oath pledging the rest of his life to her: “He’s mine till he dies.” Click here for the diagnosis.
¹ The superficial similarities between the Lincolns and Funkitiros are actually quite striking. Biographies describe Mary Todd Lincoln as short, voluptuous and expressive — much like Squitiro. And similar to his political hero, Funkhouser is tall, cadaverous and frontiersmanly, having grown up in West Virginia.
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You have wandered into unsustainable reverie. You need to do your research. Mayor Albert I. Beach, the "Pendergast-era mayor" was anything but a Pendergast enabler. He was a Republican. His family was threatened. He was my dad's first cousin. Pendergast was a crook plain and simple. His co-conspirators included Harry Truman, Kemper, Nichols, Henry McElroy, the Kansas City mob, and Franklin Roosevelt..How dare you say such a thing! Get your facts straight.Read some history. Read The Mayor's Wife. Actually I am proud of Gloria for reading it. At least now I know she can read.
You have wandered into unsustainable reverie. You need to do your research. Mayor Albert I. Beach, the "Pendergast-era mayor" was anything but a Pendergast enabler. He was a Republican. His family was threatened. He was my dad's first cousin. Pendergast was a crook plain and simple. His co-conspirators included Harry Truman, Kemper, Nichols, Henry McElroy, the Kansas City mob, and Franklin Roosevelt..How dare you say such a thing! Get your facts straight.Read some history. Read The Mayor's Wife. Actually I am proud of Gloria for reading it. At least now I know she can read.
actually I'm from South KC but kudos on labeling a whole metropolitan area as redneck. Seems to render your comments about the mayor obsolete.
Actually I'm from South KC but nice try on labeling a whole metropolitan area as redneck. Doesn't that fall right in line with your criticism of the Mayor?
actually I'm from South KC but kudos on labeling a whole metropolitan area as redneck. Seems to render your comments about the mayor obsolete.
Actually I'm from South KC but nice try on labeling a whole metropolitan area as redneck. Doesn't that fall right in line with your criticism of the Mayor?
anti-african american is what I meant to write. Oops and sorry. Please note the correction. Inafunkaboutthefunk
Nick of the Northland... we salute you for standing up for the Funk along with the rest of your red neck anti-african brethren. For the rest of us reular folk, the article only briefly touches on several but not nearly all of the arrorgant, devisive, somewhat racist, bullying, unpleasant, twisted tongue two faced, inconsistent, chaotic and pathetic actions of the Two Mayors. The only two criticisms I have about this article are that it doesn't cover enough items and none of what is covered has any depth. But keep on plugging away. The behavior of the Two Mayors needs to be exposed over and over by all the news media.
anti-african american is what I meant to write. Oops and sorry. Please note the correction. Inafunkaboutthefunk
Nick of the Northland... we salute you for standing up for the Funk along with the rest of your red neck anti-african brethren. For the rest of us reular folk, the article only briefly touches on several but not nearly all of the arrorgant, devisive, somewhat racist, bullying, unpleasant, twisted tongue two faced, inconsistent, chaotic and pathetic actions of the Two Mayors. The only two criticisms I have about this article are that it doesn't cover enough items and none of what is covered has any depth. But keep on plugging away. The behavior of the Two Mayors needs to be exposed over and over by all the news media.
What informational value does this article present? All you're doing is taking cheap shots . You're worse than Fox News.
What informational value does this article present? All you're doing is taking cheap shots . You're worse than Fox News.
This woman is so narcissitic.. here are some traits to judge for your self. Let us see if she has these:
1.)has a grandiose sense of self-importance .... CHECK
2.)is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love ......CHECK
3.)believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people .........CHECK CHECK
4.)requires excessive admiration .....CHECK
5.)strong sense of entitlement ....CHECK
6.)takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends .....CHECK
7.)lacks empathy .....CHECK
8.)is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her.......CHECK
9.)arrogant behavior ......CHECK
Yep... pretty clear now....Because of her our city has lost so much and it will take years to rebuild trust.
This woman is so narcissitic.. here are some traits to judge for your self. Let us see if she has these: 1.)has a grandiose sense of self-importance .... CHECK 2.)is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love ......CHECK 3.)believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people .........CHECK CHECK 4.)requires excessive admiration .....CHECK 5.)strong sense of entitlement ....CHECK 6.)takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends .....CHECK 7.)lacks empathy .....CHECK 8.)is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her.......CHECK 9.)arrogant behavior ......CHECK Yep... pretty clear now....Because of her our city has lost so much and it will take years to rebuild trust.
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