We drag the river for stuff you didn't know you were missing.

Backwash 

We drag the river for stuff you didn't know you were missing.

Take My Picture!

Threads
Off the rack and on the town.

Harpo's, 11 p.m. Tuesday

College girls in heels totter across the cobblestone patio while a frat pack mobs the bar, ordering trays full of Dixie-cup-sized beers. The Pitch's fashion expert, a straight guy named Bud, calls this a "cultural epicenter" -- the perfect place for straight-from-the-catalog sightings of his favorite trend: Paris Hilton skirts.

Contrary to popular belief, the miniskirt revival began last spring, well before the heiress-cum-starlet craze. "The shorter the better," Bud says, giving the garment an all-access pass for any casual or formal setting. "Miniskirts should be worn by people with nice legs and who are exceptionally good-looking," Bud says. He loves the badonkadonk factor: "It's that pop in your step, a little strut. That bam, check out my ass."

Near the bar, a long-legged blonde, Audrey, and a shorter brunette, Pristine, both grad students at KU, are wearing similar white thigh-huggers. Audrey wears the standard flat-front, fringed-hem skirt, whereas Pristine's has a drawstring and ruffles. Another friend, Natalie, wears her white mini pressed and pleated. Emily's is black with pinstripes.

"I like to call it a belt," Pristine says of her skirt, noting that she learned the phrase while being heckled by a punk in Westport.

Bud wonders how short is too short. One of the women points out a blonde in teal with a butt-cheek hemline, leaning on the bar counter.

"Like when you can see your ass," Audrey says.

"When you sit down and your ass is touching your seat," Pristine says.

"If you can't bend down. If you are showing cheek. If you feel a breeze or feel exposed," Natalie says.

"The shorter the skirt, I won't wear a thong, just in case," Pristine adds. Then she reveals the mini's unwritten rule: "The less conservative the skirt, the more conservative the underwear."

They want to know who's skirt is the best. The diplomatic Bud assigns each a category. Audrey's, short and tight, is the Cheerleader. Pristine's, short with ruffles, is the Beach Betty. Natalie's, pressed and pleated, is the Sexy 9-to-5er. Emily's, black with pinstripes, is --

"The hot librarian!" interrupts Audrey.

Come winter, the women say, minis will be shelved until warmer weather. Away from the group, however, Bud predicts that the skirts will be big this winter, too: "In the winter, you can throw on some hose and furry boots, then skip your happy ass down to the bar and get plowed," he says.

Later, Pristine sends the Pitch an e-mail. I take it back, she writes. It is NEVER too cold to wear -- I forgot that when it is freezing out it can still be worn with some sexy tall boots (I love that look!).

Net Prophet
Notes from KC's blogosphere.

Does anyone else know how maddening it is to be very liberal-minded, while your parents are ultra conservative? And to embarrass them with your heartfelt letters to the editor and your term papers and your boyfriends?

Do you also know how weird it is, later, to have your politics turned upside down? And all the while watching your parents turn into new age, bleeding heart liberals? Probably all because of you! Isn't that awkward?

It's awkward for them, too. Now dad cuts off every argument with, "Hey, have I shown you the new ground cover I put in?"

Thank God for ground cover.

From “Filegirl,” the online diary of Kristine Smith

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