The escalating tension in Gaza is getting me down. Do you sympathize with the Israeli settlers who were forced to vacate?
Kicking those Israelis out wasn't fair, but life ain't fair. In downtown KC, they kicked those businesses out to make way for the arena. And I'm excited about the arena. That brings more bosses to town for real. With them comes more money, more clout. Those Israelis got money for their houses. And everything is for sale in the 'hood. I wish somebody would force me to leave Kansas City. Give me a check, I'd be gone so quick.
When it's hot, the CD player in my Honda Civic goes out. Now Julee Jonez is making me want to rip out the radio as well. Is it too ghetto-fab to roll around with a battery-operated stereo in the back seat?
Kansas City radio is so boring. Julee Jonez, I'm coming for her crown. I think she does need to add spice to her dice. I find myself yawning in the morning, thinking, man, this is a sister. What's wrong? I'd better stop hating on her, though, or she's going to start looking for me. But I used to have one of those stereos in my car with batteries. I've done that before. I know a few people that did that. Some people just gotta have their music.
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Gunnin' for the Kids
Maybe it was sort of brainless on the part of our leaders to give rapper Bow Wow his second key to the city on August 10. By now you've no doubt heard the ironic kicker: Later that night, after the diminutive singer's performance at Kemper Arena, a couple of concertgoers were shot while waiting in traffic to leave the place.
But come on, that wasn't Bow Wow's fault.
In fact, after attending the performer's appearance that day to accept his key from City Councilman Terry Riley, we couldn't help feeling sympathy for the (formerly Lil') guy.
After all, why does it seem to be only black artists who get roped into making these kinds of appearances? You know, the sort where a singer or actor is trotted out in front of a school gym full of screaming teenagers to repeat tired phrases about staying in school and just saying no. We've noted in the past what fiascos these events usually turn out to be, but our civic leaders, for some reason, seem to think that if one more rapper tells kids to put down the blunt, this time it'll stick.
The setting for the latest attempt was Southeast Zoo Academy, a school that feeds Southeast High School, which ended its school year this past spring with a series of riots and fires. Maybe Bow Wow could set these younger kids on a better path than their older brothers and sisters.
Wearing a black skullcap and a white T-shirt, the young MC beamed as 300 screeching teens stomped their feet and waved their hands at his approach. The baby-faced celeb was met at half court by the always dapper Riley, who gave Bow Wow the backup key to the town, in case he misplaced the other one.
The Bowser then did his best to deliver the requisite earnest lines about how hard work and staying in school are the ways to a better future, blah, blah, blah. We figure the kids screaming their heads off heard even less of it than we did.
Even Bow Wow saw the futility of it, and after about 15 seconds of speechmaking, he switched to a subject he was obviously a lot more comfortable with.
"What's my favorite food?" He shouted to the crowd, which he obviously expected to be up on such minutiae. Bow Wow also quizzed his listeners about the name of his best friend and his favorite fellow rappers. Fans who answered correctly either received a bandana or a couple of tickets to that night's show.
We missed out, not being up on our Bow Wow trivia. But kids, if the eminent rapper ever makes it back to Kansas City for his third key, remember: his favorite food?
Cruzin' for Connie
In last week's cover story detailing the slutty background of evolution-fighting Kansas Board of Education member Connie Morris, the Pitch mentioned her bad behavior toward former Garden City Mayor Tim Cruz.
In December 2002, Morris sent an e-mail to an anti-immigrant group accusing Cruz of being a "past illegal immigrant." She also spread that lie to the media, telling the Associated Press, "I find it appalling that a person can break the law and enter the country illegally and end up as mayor."
Cruz, however, is a third-generation resident of Garden City. His parents were born in the United States, and Cruz was born at St. Catherine Hospital in 1959. The people of Garden City have elected him mayor twice and sent him to sit on the City Council eight times.
Morris later apologized for spreading the rumor.
But now the Pitch has learned that Cruz has figured out an interesting way to dish out some payback.
He's going after her job.
Cruz announced his intentions to run for the school board in a letter to friends and family. He wrote that he'd been planning to run for the past two years He'll begin traveling in the coming months to get a grasp of the issues in his area. He insists, however, that revenge for his mistreatment by Morris has nothing to do with his decision to run.
Even if he can garner a substantial sympathy vote, however, or ride an anti-Morris backlash, he may not win as a Democrat in a heavily Republican district.
But if he carries around a copy of the Pitch story, at least he'll have plenty of fun stories to draw from on the stump.