Ballers From Up North 

Americans think of Canada as kind of like the States, except with better health care and fewer gun battles. Our indifference results in a lopsided balance of trade in which Canadians provide Americans with comedians and singers, and we reciprocate by sending drug-seeking octogenarians north and letting a Canadian baseball team compete in the American League. The Toronto Blue Jays, baseball’s representative from the Great White North, visit Kauffman Stadium (Interstate 70 and Blue Ridge Cutoff) for a four-game series beginning today. The Blue Jays were a force in the American League in 1992 and 1993, winning the World Series behind the slugging of off-season Kansas City-area resident Joe Carter. These victories were a source of national pride for many Canadians, proving that Canadian multibillionaires were just as good as Americans at spending millions on Caribbean-born players. After a stretch of mediocrity in recent years, the team from Toronto is making a run for the playoffs. Tickets cost $8 to $32. Call 816-504-4040 for information. Royals Toronto Blue Jays

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