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I have my own weird fantasy about what could be buried in the ruins of Genghis Khan's palace. In my reverie, a bunch of eager archeologists first pry a giant iron circle -- weighing hundreds of pounds -- out of the soil. And then, digging furiously, they uncover dozens and dozens of porcelain bowls and then, to the shock of everyone gathered at the site, they unearth tiny little squares of hammered metal, each artfully embossed with a different culinary term: chicken, bamboo shoots, squid ... imitation crab. "This is incredible," gasps one of the scientists, delicately brushing dirt from a relic. "This is historical proof of the first all-you-can-eat Mongolian buffet!"
Laugh if you like. But when it comes to Genghis Khan, no hyperbole is too much. He was, according to a 2003 genetics study, personally responsible for populating much of this planet -- ancestor to one out of 200 males on Earth today -- by impregnating hundreds of women with his distinctive Y chromosome. And just what made him so potent? Could it have been a diet of freshly grilled meats?
"Well, it sure wasn't the crab rangoon or the bubble teas," my friend Lou Jane said as she took a seat near a steaming round Mongolian grill, the virile centerpiece of the spacious dining room in the three-month-old Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill & Satay Bar at the Northland's new Boardwalk Shopping Center. Though it occupies a discreet storefront, this new venture by the Chang family -- owners of the original Genghis Khan on 39th Street and its neighbor, the hipper, grill-free Blue Koi -- is a palace, all right. Not in the ornate European sense but in terms of its luxurious appointments: cozy, plumply upholstered booths; mandarin-red napkins; dramatic lighting; gallery-quality photographs; and handsome, articulate servers.
The four midtowners I had brought along with me -- Lou Jane, Bob, Pat and Julie -- were clearly impressed with the striking décor, which is far more glamorous than the 39th Street location, and the upbeat jazzy music coming across the sound system. After bringing Lou Jane and Julie a glass of wine, our perky blond waitress launched into a well-rehearsed description of the Mongolian barbecue experience: "You fill your bowl with whatever you like from over forty different ingredients," she said, "and then you take it over to our grill chefs" -- she pointed at two bored-looking males in aprons -- "who will cook it for you. But before that, help yourself to the appetizers and soups at the satay bar, which are included with your meal!"
"Wow," whispered Pat, "it takes all the decision making out of the meal."
Not all the decisions, I'm afraid; I faltered over whether to sample one or all of the satay choices, a handful of cute little kebabs, each boasting at least one piece of overcooked beef or chicken or shrimp. The crab rangoon and spring rolls were somewhat better, but the real star of the bar was a steaming kettle of richly flavored hot-and-sour soup, loaded with fat, plump mushrooms.
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