We've always known that Congressman Emanuel Cleaver was crafty with words. Who could forget Cleaver calling the debt-ceiling deal a "sugarcoated Satan sandwich." When Cleaver retires from Congress (or finally gets beat by perennial GOP also-ran Jacob Turk — we kid, we kid), here's hoping that he gets into film criticism. In a letter to his U.S. House colleagues this summer, Cleaver shredded the Twilight films while making a point about increasing bipartisanship among lawmakers. "As my family and congregation are well aware, I am a monster movie maestro," Cleaver wrote. "In fact, I am protesting these new Twilight vampire movies. They are disgusting. After all, everyone knows that real vampires and real werewolves don't date the same girl. This is a travesty that must be addressed by the horror scholars of this generation, otherwise millions of young kids will grow to adulthood thinking that Twilight movies are as accurate as Bram Stoker's Dracula." Two thumbs up, Rep. Cleaver.