Just before he left his job as editor of the
fluffy
Star Magazine to become an editor at the paper's wanna-be-Barnes & Noble book-publishing division, Doug Worgul wrote a cover feature making the preposterous -- and wonderful -- suggestion that Kansas City's generic major thoroughfares be renamed after local celebrities. Worgul correctly pointed out that street names like "Washington" and "Jefferson" turned up all over the country and argued for renaming Kansas City's thoroughfares after "the founding fathers of Kansas City jazz. Washington would become Moten Avenue, in honor of Bennie Moten.... Jefferson would become Basie Street ... [and] Madison Avenue should be renamed Parker Avenue." Writing in a brilliant white heat, Worgul argued for ditching "Broadway" in favor of "Big Joe Turner Way" and calling Belleview "McShann Avenue." He didn't stop with jazz heroes. Walnut Street should be "Bryant Boulevard" in honor of the famous Arthur; Wyoming needed to be "Harlow Avenue" after local-girl Jean. So what if Worgul went a little overboard (the last thing we need is a "Disney Avenue" instead of the beer-inspiring Southwest Boulevard) -- he's allowed, because it's unlikely anyone will take him seriously. And that's a damn shame. We felt prouder just imagining Worgul's version of Kansas City.
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