Dear Horizons Buffet Sunday Server Lady: We want to apologize for our friends' and our behavior every time we come to the all-you-can-eat brunch at Horizons. We smoke cigarettes and say "fuck" a lot. We can tell that you disapprove, especially because we usually show up at 2:30 in the afternoon, right before the buffet stops offering the complimentary spread of champagne and mimosas. Then each of us grabs, like, six glasses at a time, and that's a lot of stemware for one woman to bus. We bet you don't think we appreciate you or your job, but we do. Where else can we show up in last night's clothes after a night of drunken debauchery and feast on scrambled eggs, lasagna, fried chicken and crab rangoon while swigging down bubbly? And did we mention the salad bar? It's so yummy. There are beets on it. We love beets. And that chocolate fountain is SO COOL. So, anyway, thanks so much to you and the entire staff at Horizons Buffet for offering the best hangover brunch $15.99 can buy. We promise that next time we roll in, we'll try to be a little less obnoxious and a little more respectful.