Let's speak hypothetically for a minute. Suppose there were a strip of beach about 40 miles north of Kansas City. It's not the most beautiful beach you'll ever see, bordering as it does on a lot of tall grass and some woodlands, with a mixture of clay and sand in the water, along with a few dead branches below the surface. But it's not unpleasant, either, offering a sort of peacefulness and seclusion because it's inaccessible to sailboats and it's in a no-skiing area. Hypothetically, that seclusion could afford you an opportunity to shed the oppressive cottons and denims society forces you to cover yourself with and exist in a more natural state nearer to God. Maybe. Now suppose that, if you entered the words "Heartland Cove" into Google, you could find some directions to this magical place, along with a message board from nude recreation enthusiasts letting you know when like minds were looking for company during their visits. We certainly don't endorse breaking any of the state of Missouri's sensible laws about wearing pants, but if you're the type of adventurous scofflaw whom this appeals to, we wish you the best of luck. Allegedly.