First of all, we'd like to extend an apology to men, whose bathrooms aren't as good as women's. We don't know why you put up with that blatant disregard for equality. But we can't fight that battle for you. We can, however, equip you with a recommendation for how to get into the women's bathroom at Blue Koi, which everyone should experience at least once. It's spacious and airy, with a few framed prints hanging above a dresser that's been painted a warm rust color. Extra toilet paper is stored not in a locked metal container bolted to the wall but in a little wooden chest. Because it's a one-person restroom, you can just go in. If anyone points out that you are not a woman, just try to keep a straight face when you say, "You are being very disrespectful of my unique situation." Do not under any circumstances try to explain further. The women's bathroom at the Blue Koi is so comfortable that some people have been known to stay in there long after they've completed all necessary tasks, just washing their hands over and over.
