It's not often that we get close enough to hear ballplayers banter. And never do we get to hear what happened after some renegade — or former employee — at Metro Sports leaked unauthorized video of turdpedo George Brett dropping at least 3,154 fucks while telling his Royals teammates a story about crapping his pants outside the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Seems like the crab legs didn't sit well with our loose-boweled Hall of Famer. The video spread like the stain on the back of Brett's Dockers — much to the dismay of Metro Sports' owner, Time Warner Cable. We understand, but this was one of those rare moments, those rare behind-the-scenes looks, that tells us far more about an athlete than any post-game babble or rah-rah quote in the daily paper. This story would have been too embarrassing to tell ... for anyone not named George Brett.