In a New Yorker cartoon, two men sit gazing up at mounted, stuffed animal heads. "They're all made of soy," one man brags. For vegetarians who don't care who makes fun of them, the best local source of veggie meats is a Chinese Buddhist temple, where Patti Jien sells "meat" she orders from Taiwan, her home country. Vastly more interesting than boring soy burgers at the health-food store, Jien's wares include fake ham, chicken, eel, cuttlefish, shrimp, sausage, beef chunks, pork, codfish balls and even smoked goose steak. Call ahead.