For Britney Spears, the unceremonious revealing of her lady bits in a paparazzi photo was tantamount to a burlesque routine gone horribly wrong. After years of lusting after the unmentionables buried beneath her low-cut jeans and writhing boas, Americans were confronted with a squished bagel. This, along with the prolonged debacle that followed, brought Britney down to earth, making her late-'08 comeback feel like a drunken text message from an ex-girlfriend. Still, Circus managed two Top 10 hits with its Kanye-mimicking robo-pop and ringtone-ready club hits. Britney's spring tour promises all the requisite props of a modern pop diva: cages, pole dances, aerialists, pyrotechnics — and more drama than an episode of Desperate Housewives.