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Kelso's - 35.8 degrees
300 Armour Road
8 p.m. Monday
Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon
As we sipped a $2 PBR at this Northland bar — both PBR and Miller Lite drafts are $2 during Royals games — we had a bizarre premonition. What if the Rookie (that is, small) pepperoni-and-green-pepper pizza we'd ordered came out so burnt (just the way we like it) that we got a discount on it? These are the types of premonitions we have; we lead sad lives. Then the pizza arrived, and it was a Veteran (large). And it was burnt! And the pregnant bartender apologized and asked if it was OK and said she'd just charge us for a Rookie. Then a crack of the bat: Miguel Tejada hit his first home run of the season. Then Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" pumped out of the jukebox. OK, that last part is a lie, but the rest is true.
Waldo Pizza Taproom - 35.7 degrees
6:30 p.m. Saturday
Beer: Mirror Pond Pale Ale
This adjunct to the Waldo institution isn't always what you expect from a place called a taproom. Rather than beer-bellied middle-aged men sitting around a saloon illuminated by neon signs and sipping craft brews, the Waldo Pizza Taproom is often populated by families with children and tables full of friends. There's a little bar toward the back, where helpful bartenders walk the uninitiated through a beer lineup that has long been one of the metro's most far-ranging and eclectic.
Bier Station - 35.5 degrees
120 East Gregory
7 p.m. Monday
Beer: Free State Stormchaser IPA
A purveyor of craft beers, some of which are to be enjoyed at less-than-frigid temperatures, Bier Station doles out a notably frosty India Pale Ale. At this Armour Hills bar, the diversity of the beer taps is outdone only by the selection in the drink-it-here-or-take-it-home refrigerator of bottled beers. All those beers, coupled with a stack of board games in the corner, usually makes a stop here last longer than planned.
Volleyball Beach - 35.5 degrees
8 p.m. Tuesday
Beer: Beach Beer
"I saw you put a thermometer in your beer. What's going on?" the bar manager says. Chill out, dude! On a packed Tuesday, young people in shorts and tank tops order pitchers and mudslides like it's spring break. The vibe: They're gonna be diggin' and spikin' all fuckin' night! Maybe we were meant to stay with the beach party in Martin City. As we pull out of the gigantic lot to return to Westport, the GPS claims: "No routes found." Cowabunga.
The Bulldog - 34.8 degrees
5:45 p.m. Friday
Beer: Boulevard Pale Ale
The Bulldog is about a 12-second walk from us here at The Pitch, so we consider ourselves something of an authority on the bar. We've imbibed there at literally every hour of the day it's open, but the best time to soak up the place is between 5 and 8 p.m. Thursdays and Fridays, for two-for-ones. Order just about anything, and they hand you two of them. Naturally, you drink them fast because you don't want them to get warm. And soon, you are drunk. Look around, and you'll find you're in great company: lawyers, strippers from Bazooka's having a pre- or post-shift drink, journalists, office drones, shady hustlers. A server with a severe haircut and knee-high socks asks if you want another round. It's not 8 yet, is it? Then, yes, we will have another round.