Hockenbarger remembers listening as infamous preacher Fred Phelps chastised him for half an hour, calling Hockenbarger a wolf in sheep's clothing and a snake in the grass.
Phelps then asked his congregation whether anyone saw grace in Hockenbarger. No one defended Hockenbarger. Not his wife of 32 years. Not one of his seven children.
After a few minutes of silence, Phelps declared Hockenbarger excluded from the church.
Hockenbarger left the building as fast as he could.
"I was terrified," the 53-year-old Hockenbarger tells the Pitch. "The concept of exclusion is to allow Satan his way to the destruction of the body so the soul might be saved. My expectation was not to live long enough to get home. And this is not an indication of suicidal thoughts or desires, but I'd rather be dead than in this situation."
The Pitch learned of Hockenbarger's situation while reporting last week's cover story about Shirley Phelps-Roper, the daughter of Fred Phelps, who, for all practical purposes, now runs the Westboro operation ("The New Fred," November 2).
Getting kicked out of the Westboro Baptist Church cost Hockenbarger everything.
"My wife and family wanted nothing more to do with me," says Hockenbarger, who works as a manager at the Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services.
Hockenbarger's unforgivable sin was lacking "grace." More specifically, he couldn't turn the other cheek when confronted by angry observers on the picket line.
"I've struggled greatly with controlling myself and trying to prevent others from getting hurt on the picket line," Hockenbarger explains. (Though Hockenbarger's slight stature makes him appear an unlikely fighter, he spent three years as a criminal-justice training coordinator at Washburn University.) "If someone was going to get hit, it was going to be me, not them," he says. "I do it almost instinctively or reflexively in order to protect the ones that I love."
Shirley Phelps-Roper tells the Pitch that Hockenbarger wasn't living up to God's standard.
"We stand on these streets, day in, day out, year in, year out, and hold these signs and talk to people and tell what the standard is, set by your God," Phelps-Roper says. "He said, if they hit you in the face, turn your other cheek and let them hit the other side. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal. This generation, this nation, would love nothing more than to say we're standing on these streets brawling. We are not going to stand on these streets and brawl. We do not do that."
If you don't live by the standard, Phelps-Roper says, you can't "be a member in good standing of the church of the Lord Jesus Christ."
Now, Hockenbarger says, his wife, Kay, won't return his calls. He hasn't seen his youngest children, Isaac, a sixth-grader, and David, a sophomore in high school, since his exclusion. He also hasn't heard from his oldest children: Charles Hockenbarger, who married Fred Phelps' daughter Rachel; Jennifer, who married Brent and Shirley Phelps-Roper's son Sam; and Katherine.
"The only contact that I have had is e-mail establishing how much my child support and spousal support is," Hockenbarger says. "That's the totality of it."
But Karl and Kay Hockenbarger won't seek a divorce. Westboro Baptist Church members don't believe in divorce.
"If there is a divorce, it will be on her part, and it will be absolutely contrary to every bit of Scripture that's ever been taught in that church," Hockenbarger says. "My wife is my wife. Even if she forsakes me, she is my wife. I took a solemn, holy vow to love and support her so long as we both draw breath. I will do that. My children are my children. To the maximum extent that I can, I will support them not only monetarily but in any way that I can. I still love the members of that church.... Whether they accept me or not, I still consider them my brethren."
Hockenbarger's son James left Westboro shortly after his father was excluded. Four months later, Hockenbarger's 17-year-old son, Michael, was also booted out of the church.
"Apparently, he was disrespectful, which would have been true to form," Hockenbarger says. "That was kind of the last straw."
Hockenbarger's fate is the same as that of his parents, Charles and Mary Hockenbarger, who joined the church in 1960, five years after Westboro's genesis.
Karl was baptized in the church when he was 9 years old and had been a devout follower ever since. About two years ago, Fred Phelps' children voted Charles and Mary Hockenbarger out of the church.
Charles says Fred Phelps' children pushed him out of the church for several reasons: He lacked enthusiasm for pickets; he didn't help remodel the homes of Phelps family members; church members told him to move closer to the church, but every house the Hockenbargers looked at was never good enough for the Phelpses. They also told him to cut ties with people outside the church's congregation, he says.
"I couldn't hardly swallow that, but we did try to abide by it," he tells the Pitch.
Charles says he was summoned to a meeting at Shirley Phelps-Roper's home. He says Phelps-Roper, Margie Phelps and Tim Phelps presented the case against him. "They had all made a list of charges, and so, being that we didn't show grace, they recommended to the pastor that we be put out of the church," he says.
The next Sunday, it was official.
Charles Hockenbarger is finished with Westboro.
"That church preached hate so deeply," he says. "Now we're in a church, and we find that Christ also loved."
Karl Hockenbarger cut ties with his parents when Westboro kicked them out. (He recently began speaking to them again.)
Now Karl's out, too. But unlike his parents, he desperately longs to return to the Phelps flock.
"I'd go back in a heartbeat," an emotional Hockenbarger tells the Pitch. He quotes Job. "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him."
Hockenbarger clings to hope, remembering the last words that Fred's son Tim Phelps said to him on the morning of his exclusion: "When we change our minds about you, we'll let you know."
Until then, he listens to Fred Phelps' sermons over the Internet. He reads summaries of the group's trips to picket at soldiers' funerals. And he searches God hatesfags.com for photos of his family.
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This Westboro Baptist Church says they hate the Gay-Community. But, they also hate African Americans, Dr. & Mrs. King, Canada, Sweden, the Fire Department of N.Y., victims of 911, other Christian churches, the pope, Judaism, America, our American troops and the list goes on and on. Many of the groups they despise are specifically named on their hate propaganda, picket signs and their many websites. They not only hate, but wish death on all whom they abhor.
This so-called “church” spreads its hate through picketing in our streets, provoking attacks, with abusive language and flag desecration, attempting to create a confrontation. This is not about protesting, this is about a life of hate. They are in it for the money and the press. They are not a "church." They go after any thing that can get them in the news. This group will protest anything to get its face on TV or in the news. This group is lost in the darkness of hate, and will put there children in danger to shield themselves.
These people protest at the funerals of our troops. Do we have a real need to protest at any funeral? Is that a real freedom?
The city of Topeka, the state of Kansas and the U.S. at large, its citizens and their churches, schools and events are all held hostage by this "hate group."-always at the tax payer's expense.
I believe Mr. Hockenbarger is a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. He was kidnapped by that horrible family when he was 9. He's been indoctrinated and doesn't really have any free will. I feel terribly sorry for him.
Btw, the church of Satan in not "evil". It only is in the eyes of nutjob Christians
The Phelps family sets the standard for crazy azz clowns. They are a perversion to religion. They seem to be so obsessed with homosexuality that one must wonder: how widespread was the homosexual molestation/incest in that family?
The Phelps family sets the standard for crazy azz clowns. They are a perversion to religion. They seem to be so obsessed with homosexuality that one must wonder: how widespread was the homosexual molestation/incest in that family?
I, rather incomprehensibly, find myself feeling sorry for you, Mr. Hockenbarger.
You have been offered an exit to what is more or less a hate-filled and ultimately self-destructive cult, and yet you appear to refuse the chance of your own freedom.
Or have you invested so much that should the cult die, you'd happily die alongside it?
I, rather incomprehensibly, find myself feeling sorry for you, Mr. Hockenbarger. You have been offered an exit to what is more or less a hate-filled and ultimately self-destructive cult, and yet you appear to refuse the chance of your own freedom. Or have you invested so much that should the cult die, you'd happily die alongside it?
You're better off and in much better graces with God without the hatred the Phelps instill among their congregation and brainwashing, bible twisting Nazism they portray to the rest of the God fearing universe. If you decide to believe in God not the testimonies of hateful publicity hound...you can proclaim "In God We Trust" not "In Fred We Fear".
You're better off and in much better graces with God without the hatred the Phelps instill among their congregation and brainwashing, bible twisting Nazism they portray to the rest of the God fearing universe. If you decide to believe in God not the testimonies of hateful publicity hound...you can proclaim "In God We Trust" not "In Fred We Fear".
Good. The more dissension within the ranks of that sick, twisted, hate-mongering family, the better.
And Karl Hockenbarger is a pathetic man who wants to crawl back to ugly, hateful legacy of Fred Phelps, Sr. and his evil spawn.
Good. The more dissension within the ranks of that sick, twisted, hate-mongering family, the better. And Karl Hockenbarger is a pathetic man who wants to crawl back to ugly, hateful legacy of Fred Phelps, Sr. and his evil spawn.
The Phelps Cult is truly an example of a wolfe in sheep's clothing. Hate, exclusion, rejection, anger, are NOT "Fruits of the Spirit of Christ". Rather Jesus said, very clearly, "Come unto me and I will give you rest... learn of Me" and in John 3:16
God clearly says, "For God so Loved the World that God gave His only Son, that
WHOSOEVER believes in Him (Jesus), shall not perish but have Everlasting Life"
Unfortunately, Phelps is leading his family and others dupped by Satan, to fall into the trap of missing God's Everlasting Love and JOY, and falling for judging others
and not praying for them. This is NOT the way of the Cross or the way of Jesus.
The Phelps Cult is truly an example of a wolfe in sheep's clothing. Hate, exclusion, rejection, anger, are NOT "Fruits of the Spirit of Christ". Rather Jesus said, very clearly, "Come unto me and I will give you rest... learn of Me" and in John 3:16 God clearly says, "For God so Loved the World that God gave His only Son, that WHOSOEVER believes in Him (Jesus), shall not perish but have Everlasting Life" Unfortunately, Phelps is leading his family and others dupped by Satan, to fall into the trap of missing God's Everlasting Love and JOY, and falling for judging others and not praying for them. This is NOT the way of the Cross or the way of Jesus.
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