We all agreed long ago that Fred Phelps and the members of his Westboro Baptist Church are sad, terrible people, destined to be greeted at the gates of wherever they end up by an angry mob of shirtless, dildo-waving queens.
At this point, church members aren't even protesting gays as much as they are anyone who has ever relied on the Earth's atmosphere to survive because, you know, .000000001 percent of the carbon dioxide used in photosynthesis may have been exhaled by a homosexual. Even if we could somehow send all the Phelpses into low orbit, it wouldn't be long before they started protesting faggy quasars. God hates that your high output of electromagnetic energy allows you to be the most luminous body in the universe! Queer!
In recent years, the shear breadth of their insanity and lust for attention has actually allowed them to hit upon some truths, if only by accident. And as long as we're stuck with the Phelpses in our backyard, we might as well have some fun with their ubiquitous hatred, right?
(If you answered, "wrong," please forgive us and see your way to the nearest exit. We hear that the music section is nice this time of year.)
With Lady Gaga, Westboro's latest target of hate, headed to Kansas City next week, we present our list of people whom Fred Phelps might actually — however accidentally — be right about. Some of them have died, some are still with us, but all of them have been called out by the Phelps family.
And you know you've fucked up when the members of Westboro Baptist have a point.
11. George Rekers, anti-gay activist
Usually, Westboro Baptist is just being a dick when criticizing someone for homosexual behavior. But George Rekers is the rare entity who compels you to nod in agreement when the Phelps clan calls him a lying, pretend Christian.
Until recently, Rekers and the Phelpses weren't that different. Rekers made a name for himself as a Baptist preacher and one of the country's most prominent anti-gay activists. He helped start the Family Research Council, a Washington, D.C.-based Christian lobbying group that supports criminalizing homosexual behavior. He also has acted as an adviser to national politicians and testified as a state witness in support of banning gay adoption in Florida.
Then The Pitch's sister paper the Miami New Times caught him with a gay escort, from rentboy.com, who was moving his luggage. "I had surgery," Rekers said when confronted, "and I can't lift luggage. That's why I hired him." In the photo that busted him, Rekers is actually moving luggage. (And, no, that's not a sex euphemism — at least not yet.)
Rekers made a living by degrading and terrorizing people who had the guts to live openly the way they wanted to (the way, apparently, he secretly wished he could). Fred says God hates a coward — in this case, we're inclined to believe him.
10. Ann Coulter
Here's Westboro Baptist on the woman they refer to as a "wild-eyed sorceress":
"These blowhards would behead anyone who says words they don't like, while demanding the right to scream meaningless nothings till our ears bleed."
For complete gibberish, that line makes insanely good sense.
Of all the people on this list, Coulter might be the closet to the Phelpses, with her penchant for saying the most inflammatory things possible in her naked quest for more airtime. But while Westboro seems to be genuinely crazy — one could argue that Fred Phelps' indoctrination of his children qualifies as child abuse — Coulter is a well-educated woman who knows exactly what she sounds like and calculates her next line for maximum vileness. She's a smirking instigator who is actively striving to lower public discourse. Only in a media landscape this dumb could anyone take her seriously enough to buy her next book. Coulter is just disingenuous enough. When she throws around the word "faggot" or talks about killing Muslims (if they don't convert to Christianity), she's somehow slimier than the Phelps family when they say the same thing.
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isn't that special ... if you don't agree with Rugg your comments will be deleted ... guess what Rugg ... delete if you will ... your still a Freakin Idiot
isn't that special ... if you don't agree with Rugg your comments will be deleted ... guess what Rugg ... delete if you will ... your still a Freakin Idiot
I'm certain you meant to write "advanced peeks" vs. "advanced peaks". I suppose my question is this: Does anyone proofread anything they write for the internet? If I was to attach my name to any dissemination, I would want it to appear as if I knew what I was doing.....
I'm certain you meant to write "advanced peeks" vs. "advanced peaks". I suppose my question is this: Does anyone proofread anything they write for the internet? If I was to attach my name to any dissemination, I would want it to appear as if I knew what I was doing.....
JUSTIN BIEBER!!! Westboro picketed Justin's concert last night. You agree with this one, too, dont'y you? I'd certainly add him as number 12... if not number ONE.
JUSTIN BIEBER!!! Westboro picketed Justin's concert last night. You agree with this one, too, dont'y you? I'd certainly add him as number 12... if not number ONE.
Hope you all see god as he is, and what a free country you have because of those guys who died. But I glad I fought and given you the right too protest, but and at the dead, 26 yr vet, 3 combat tours, do more, but I have kids to take care of!!!
Hope you all see god as he is, and what a free country you have because of those guys who died. But I glad I fought and given you the right too protest, but and at the dead, 26 yr vet, 3 combat tours, do more, but I have kids to take care of!!!
Why is commentary in the news section? The two aren't the same.
In different news, plans are afoot to protests Phelps' funeral when the time comes...
Why is commentary in the news section? The two aren't the same. In different news, plans are afoot to protests Phelps' funeral when the time comes...
Peter,
Moving luggage = sex euphemism — at least not yet.
You better copyright that lest Dan Savage take the ball(s) and run with it.
phelps is NOTHING more than a false-prophet. the Bible warns us about individuals like him. Anyone claiming to be a Christian that preaches hate, is NO Christian. Christians started from the teachings of Jesus CHRIST, a message of love and forgivness, not hate and intolerance. I try to be a good follower or Jesus every day, and although it's hard and impossible not to sin, I try not to judge others based upon sexual preference, skin color,etc; because we as CHRISTIANS are not to JUDGE, only JESUS can do that throught the power that GOD allows him. Pray for Phelps and his followers that they may see the error of their ways.
Another great piece, Peter.
Westboro functions a lot like Lady Gaga in that they are intentionally and calculatedly controversial for the sole purpose of attracting attention from us dipshits.
Peter, Moving luggage = sex euphemism — at least not yet. You better copyright that lest Dan Savage take the ball(s) and run with it.
phelps is NOTHING more than a false-prophet. the Bible warns us about individuals like him. Anyone claiming to be a Christian that preaches hate, is NO Christian. Christians started from the teachings of Jesus CHRIST, a message of love and forgivness, not hate and intolerance. I try to be a good follower or Jesus every day, and although it's hard and impossible not to sin, I try not to judge others based upon sexual preference, skin color,etc; because we as CHRISTIANS are not to JUDGE, only JESUS can do that throught the power that GOD allows him. Pray for Phelps and his followers that they may see the error of their ways.
Another great piece, Peter. Westboro functions a lot like Lady Gaga in that they are intentionally and calculatedly controversial for the sole purpose of attracting attention from us dipshits.
I have only one question for the Phelps-ites. When God stopped by to give you His list of those-He-hates,what color were His eyes?
I have only one question for the Phelps-ites. When God stopped by to give you His list of those-He-hates,what color were His eyes?
ouch...sounds like the "fred" family needs to read their guide book... The Bible says... God is LOVE... where is the love ? The basic message of Jesus the "Christ" was/is... hate the sin, LOVE the sinner. (As we know, one's perception of "sin" is open to interpretation.) Jesus is coming... Buddah is here !
In response to Bob - In the Baptist Association's defense, when my brother died 17 years ago and Phelps family first came to KC, quite of few of the Baptist Churches went on TV and sent letters to our home denouncing Westboro's practices. As for the rest of your response....I couldn't agree more.
ouch...sounds like the "fred" family needs to read their guide book... The Bible says... God is LOVE... where is the love ? The basic message of Jesus the "Christ" was/is... hate the sin, LOVE the sinner. (As we know, one's perception of "sin" is open to interpretation.) Jesus is coming... Buddah is here !
In response to Bob - In the Baptist Association's defense, when my brother died 17 years ago and Phelps family first came to KC, quite of few of the Baptist Churches went on TV and sent letters to our home denouncing Westboro's practices. As for the rest of your response....I couldn't agree more.
I can't believe that the idiots at Westboro haven't jumped (or dumped) on the fact that the word, or in this case name, "Dio" would relate from the latin to "God". Not that I was all that big of a fan, just that they didn't make something out of that. Having been raised in the Baptist church, I also can't believe that every association of Baptist churches in existence today hasn't disowned them and sued to require them to quit calling themselves "baptists". When Fred was baptized, they should have held him under during the entire sermon, not just long enough to say "in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit" and we would not have this embarrassment to all decent humans, or his progeny spouting his message of hate. Maybe they should all emulate Jim Jones and then they could explain to their maker in person what they were trying to do. Considering their willful ignoring of all the rest of the bible's teaching, they should not see this act as a sin either.
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