Swimmimg in the Mainstream
Lou Reed: The Raven
Mystery solved: Why
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore?"
He heardeth this joint
Nick Lachey: SoulO.
Oh, SoulO, heel-o,
De un boy band profundo
Damn, my wife's a dolt
Russell Crowe: Other Ways of Speaking
Billy Bob Thornton: Edge of the World
Hey, esteemed actors:
Man, you ought not sing like 'at
Just ask Bruce Willis
Liz Phair: Liz Phair
Windy Chicago,
One of your children has flown
'Mid Sheryl Crow's flock
Jewel: 0304
"Swish, gurgle, gurgle!"
Sound of Nemo finding dad?
Nope -- Jewel's career flushed
Metallica: St. Anger
Sober metalheads
Are "The Thing That Should Not Be"
(Well, that and Bob Rock)
Lisa Marie Presley: To Whom It May Concern
Girl, dad's stillborn twin
Was more talented than you
Stick to divorcing
Kid Rock: Kid Rock
Hey, here's an idea
Scream the chorus of any song!
Instant Kid Rock hit!
Peaches: Fatherfucker
Granny was so wrong
Peaches cannot be preserved
Can spoil in one year
Erasure: Other People’s Songs
Confucious say:
They who cannot make comeback
Record cover songs
Limp Bizkit: Results May Vary
Though this pick is like
Shooting fish in a barrel
I couldn't resist
David Lee Roth: Diamond Dave
Now here's a surprise
This record wasn't so good
Diamond D shits coal
Whitney Houston: Just Whitney
Whitney, dear Whitney
You've become a Too Short song
Get your shit together
-- St. Clair
Digging in the Underground
Leslie Mills: Different for Girls
While her voice is pure
sugar, she fails to inform:
What is different for girls?
Magellan: Impossible Figures
Finally, the church
music-arcade sounds hybrid
you've always wanted
Victory: Instinct
Stating "Looks pretty
good!" before a song doesn't
mean it's in fact good
Jason Ringenberg: A Day at the Farm with Farmer Jason
Because all kids need
music -- not just the ones who
aren't on acid
One Line Drawing: Visitor
I've only heard these
songs five times, but they're still what
nostalgia sounds like
Motion City Soundtrack: I Am the Movie
They're reading my mind
What is up with Will and Grace?
These guys freak me out
Michael Franks: The Art of Love
The Frasier theme song
meets elevator music --
does it get better?
Neal Morse: Testimony
God's favorite things
are all here -- hangovers, rock
and buzzing bee sounds
Divine Empire: Nostradamus
From first song to last
this album totally scares
the shit out of me
The Like Young: Looked Up (Plus Four)
Tracy Bonham sings
with a guy now? No, wait -- this
is somebody else
Ted Nash: Still Evolved
It's like when I played
the saxophone in high school,
only much better
Rage: Soundchaser
For music that's meant
to be scary, its sound is
strangely uplifting
Carman: House of Praise
God's good to Carman,
but the reverse isn't true
-- God deserves better
Brazen Abbot: Guilty as Sin
One life to live, but
Heaven's just a kiss away
Bright-side kind of guys!
Holy Mother: Agoraphobia
Knocks on heaven's door
while "Hungry for Exxstacy" --
will God let him in?
JS: Ice Cream
"Love angel" one song
Cheating love devil the next
Sure you want a scoop?
Adema: Unstable
He loves his child
Says no to dudes who abuse
This guy's a keeper!
-- Fite
