816-842-1919
It's here, it's queer and it serves beer: Hamburger Mary's, a restaurant that does for America's favorite sandwich what Liberace did for classical music. It's flamboyant in every sense of the word, right down to the color of the building. Previously home to Smokin' Joe's Bar-B-Q and, more recently, a short-lived boxing-themed bar, the building where Southwest Boulevard meets Baltimore in the Crossroads is now the color of a grape-flavored all-day sucker. And if the violet exterior doesn't come right out and scream "queen" (or something like that), the awning over the entrance says it all: "Eat, drink ... and be Mary."
Enough decades have passed since The Boys in the Band, which introduced straight-laced Americans to smartly dressed homosexuals calling each other "Mary," that the term seems quaintly antique. (It's a slangy reference dating back to the early 1900s.) But the joke lives on at Hamburger Mary's, where one burger is called the Black and Bleu Boy, and another is the Big Johnson. There hasn't been a restaurant this ambitiously and openly gay since Sara Crankankles, a midtown bistro of the 1980s, where all the servers were drag queens.
On one of my visits, we were escorted to a table by a statuesque African-American hostess in a blond wig and cherry-red lipstick (but with biceps like Arnold Schwarzenegger's). Waiters are all in male garb and as cherubic as altar boys, but at least one of them will happily show you cell-phone photos of himself as his stage persona, Valerie Versace. "Honey, you look just like a young Cher!" Truman gushed.
Cher, the real, old one, is one of the musical artists playing in videos on TV monitors mounted around the dining room: Cher, Madonna, Mariah Carey, even ABBA. The place is loud, raucous and super-friendly. "But is it too gay for Kansas City?" Truman whispered. After all, the Hamburger Mary's chain started in San Francisco. There's not one in the city by the bay anymore, but there are franchise restaurants in West Hollywood, Palm Springs, Chicago, Las Vegas, San Diego, Phoenix, Cincinnati and Cedar Rapids. And if Cedar Rapids can handle one, by god, we can, too.
Just to be sure, though, I posed the question to the restaurant's owner, a local surgeon named Eric Christensen. He told me that he was eating at the West Hollywood Hamburger Mary's several years ago and saw a table tent with information about franchising the concept. Right then and there, he decided that Kansas City had to have one. After hiring Robbie McGowan away from Café Trio to manage the new place, Christensen finally opened the local outpost in December.
"Our first test of customer acceptance took place during [February's] First Friday," Christensen said. "We watched quite a few straight couples come into the restaurant to look around. A couple of them left, but most stayed and had a ball. That's how this restaurant is going to catch on."
The restaurant is also likely to be compared with the city's best-known high-end burger purveyor: Blanc Burgers + Bottles. It's not a fair comparison because Josh Eans' slightly more expensive Blanc is truly upscale. Hamburger Mary's is an old-fashioned diner — former Otto's Malt Shop chef Otto Miller oversees the kitchen, and talented Mike McGuire is the sous chef — with an in-your-face attitude. And booze. And one spectacular-looking female bartender, the sultry Danielle Metz, who does an emotionally charged version of "Let It Please Be Him" on karaoke nights.
The burgers are big, juicy, cooked-to-order and satisfying. If they lack Blanc's serious creativity, they're at least as good as the kind you make at home or order at a really good truck stop. A couple are way over the top, like the Big Johnson, which has a meat patty stuffed with jalapeños, green chilies and onions, then topped with cream cheese, Swiss, Jack and Cheddar cheeses, bacon and a fried egg. But I've liked every burger I've eaten there, including the Barbra-Q Bacon Cheeseburger and the Rock Star (stuffed with Gouda, green onion and roasted garlic). And the patty melt is first-rate.
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To the above mentioned 'straight guy': There are plenty of locally owned restaurants who have won awards & are gay owned. They just don't have the need to scream ABBA or Madonna to get any points across. Perhaps because they put food and service first. I would go down the list but then again, that is putting the gay part first and not the food and service. Once again, to those who read a food column for (oh I don't know) food purposes - these are the reasons why the other establishments win awards and this place is nothing but a gay Chuck-E-Cheese for adults. If that is what it takes to please you then this is where you can go. I'll take my money elsewhere.
To the above mentioned 'straight guy': There are plenty of locally owned restaurants who have won awards & are gay owned. They just don't have the need to scream ABBA or Madonna to get any points across. Perhaps because they put food and service first. I would go down the list but then again, that is putting the gay part first and not the food and service. Once again, to those who read a food column for (oh I don't know) food purposes - these are the reasons why the other establishments win awards and this place is nothing but a gay Chuck-E-Cheese for adults. If that is what it takes to please you then this is where you can go. I'll take my money elsewhere.
Wow KC actually got a restraunt that's not decorated like my grandfathers attic? (applebees, 54th st, Fred Ps)
I'm all about it. As far as gay as a gimmick I'm hard pressed to think of any gay food establishments in the KC area since I was born 33 years ago.
The food is pretty good and is worlds beyond the Brick or any above listened venues. The servers are fun and attentive which is way more then I can say about the above listed also. I'm a loyal customer.
Straight Married Guy in his 30ies
Wow KC actually got a restraunt that's not decorated like my grandfathers attic? (applebees, 54th st, Fred Ps) I'm all about it. As far as gay as a gimmick I'm hard pressed to think of any gay food establishments in the KC area since I was born 33 years ago. The food is pretty good and is worlds beyond the Brick or any above listened venues. The servers are fun and attentive which is way more then I can say about the above listed also. I'm a loyal customer. Straight Married Guy in his 30ies
Naah.
The food is terrible. It's also expensive for lunch. A $15 lunch? For a burger? See you at The Brick. A better, cheaper burger.
Naah. The food is terrible. It's also expensive for lunch. A $15 lunch? For a burger? See you at The Brick. A better, cheaper burger.
In the Midwest, where mediocrity is the gold standard, bland food and amateurish service are to be expected. And using "gay" as a gimmick is a tired old trick with a short shelf life. Bad food, boring ambience and a bunch of dumpy, attention-starved queens providing "service"... Wow. Real fresh.
The original HMarys in San Francisco makes great burgers and serves them without camp. They been in business for decades. Hamburger Mary's in Kansas City? A year tops. Silly queens.
In the Midwest, where mediocrity is the gold standard, bland food and amateurish service are to be expected. And using "gay" as a gimmick is a tired old trick with a short shelf life. Bad food, boring ambience and a bunch of dumpy, attention-starved queens providing "service"... Wow. Real fresh. The original HMarys in San Francisco makes great burgers and serves them without camp. They been in business for decades. Hamburger Mary's in Kansas City? A year tops. Silly queens.
Not in a million years. It's so stupid...like being gay is like an accessory or a fashion trend. How despicable and twisted. And sorry, on a personal note...when I'm going to be eating...the last thing I want to think about is a "big johnson" or some "Mary" having anal sex before they fry up my burger. No thanks, I'd rather go to McDonalds.
Not in a million years. It's so stupid...like being gay is like an accessory or a fashion trend. How despicable and twisted. And sorry, on a personal note...when I'm going to be eating...the last thing I want to think about is a "big johnson" or some "Mary" having anal sex before they fry up my burger. No thanks, I'd rather go to McDonalds.
I've visited Hamburger Mary's at least three times since it opened. Each time the service and food has been fantastic! I applaud Eric for taking the risk to bring a fun new option to Kansas City and for hiring Robbie to help manage the place. I've enjoyed Mary's in San Francisco, Ft. Lauderdale and other places over the years. It's a fun place to just hangout with friends, take a visiting friend or just grab a burger when the mood strikes. My wishes to the team at Mary's - thanks for making your new place so much fun - at a price that doesn't break your wallet! Enjoy! Kelly
I've visited Hamburger Mary's at least three times since it opened. Each time the service and food has been fantastic! I applaud Eric for taking the risk to bring a fun new option to Kansas City and for hiring Robbie to help manage the place. I've enjoyed Mary's in San Francisco, Ft. Lauderdale and other places over the years. It's a fun place to just hangout with friends, take a visiting friend or just grab a burger when the mood strikes. My wishes to the team at Mary's - thanks for making your new place so much fun - at a price that doesn't break your wallet! Enjoy! Kelly
It is good to see actual normal patrons comments. Similar to what I have heard about the service. Personally, I would rather go to a restaurant that serves good food, has good service and HAPPENS to be gay owned and operated. Not here come get your gays (oh..and we happen to serve food too). I don't need to be placated to or have things dumbed down for me. If I wanted to go to a gay bar then I would go to a gay bar. The concept (in and of itself) is borderline offensive to people who like good food & service and happen to be gay. Big Johnson. Really. Had to go there?
It is good to see actual normal patrons comments. Similar to what I have heard about the service. Personally, I would rather go to a restaurant that serves good food, has good service and HAPPENS to be gay owned and operated. Not here come get your gays (oh..and we happen to serve food too). I don't need to be placated to or have things dumbed down for me. If I wanted to go to a gay bar then I would go to a gay bar. The concept (in and of itself) is borderline offensive to people who like good food & service and happen to be gay. Big Johnson. Really. Had to go there?
I agree with Jon, the service is deplorable. The first time I went for dinner I thought the food was average and the service was very poor. The second time I went with a group of friends for dinner. We were seated and waited at the table for 15 minutes and no one ever came to the table so we left. This restaurant will have to drastically improve service before I would ever consider going back.
I agree with Jon, the service is deplorable. The first time I went for dinner I thought the food was average and the service was very poor. The second time I went with a group of friends for dinner. We were seated and waited at the table for 15 minutes and no one ever came to the table so we left. This restaurant will have to drastically improve service before I would ever consider going back.
I can't tell you how much I LOVE this place! Everyone there is SO nice and the food is great! This is definitely a fun place to go and all my friends loved our first visit! I CAN'T WAIT for the rooftop deck to open on St. Patrick's Day! I plan on going back again and again!
"the Hamburger Mary's chain started in San Francisco"
Yeah, but there was nothing overtly gay about the Folsom Street original other than its location near some leather bars and the late lamented Sutro Baths. It was just a good place to grab a burger and people-watch. The whole "gay" aspect started with the franchises, which happened some years after the original joint died.
I can't tell you how much I LOVE this place! Everyone there is SO nice and the food is great! This is definitely a fun place to go and all my friends loved our first visit! I CAN'T WAIT for the rooftop deck to open on St. Patrick's Day! I plan on going back again and again!
"the Hamburger Mary's chain started in San Francisco" Yeah, but there was nothing overtly gay about the Folsom Street original other than its location near some leather bars and the late lamented Sutro Baths. It was just a good place to grab a burger and people-watch. The whole "gay" aspect started with the franchises, which happened some years after the original joint died.
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