Setting free the dragon from the dungeon, Helloween follows its worst prog-rock instincts on orchestral maneuvers such as "Listen to the Flies" and "Never Be a Star." That these tweeting monstrosities are set to some of the drippiest prose this side of the Waterworld screenplay only makes it more abysmal. "Sun for the World" begins with a sitar before kicking into an epic ditty about a boy called Life from an alien netherland. When the band is not busy hunting Hobbits in space, it's spewing lord-of-the-cock-rings drivel like "A Little Sign," which includes the heart-fluttering lyrical valentine Something's growing in my pants/As she looks into my eyes. Passion is one thing, but this from a band that once boldly declared that "Heavy Metal Is the Law?"
