Dear Mexican:
My wife is from Michoacán state. We've bought a home in the small town of her birth. I love everything about the quiet little place. Even her mother is kind to me, as if I were her son. The food is incredibly good. The puerco is killed that morning, and the taste is like nothing you ever find north of the border. The federales stare me down, but so what? They mean well. Besides, they rarely come around. My wife's village is old Mexico at its best.
The problem is, I can retire today — TODAY — and go live the good life in Mexico. But my wife wants to stay here in California, where it just gets worse by the hour. Why do Mexicans not want to go back to their homeland while Americans can't wait to go live there? Please help me convince my wife it's time to retire to Santa Ines.
Camino a Michoacán
Dear Gabacho:
Ever stop to wonder why your wife and millions of her compadres left Mexico? Sí, about a million yanquis now live in Mexico, and the living is easier, cheaper — but it's still Mexico. It's a place where gabachos can live like kings, provided they have mucho dinero and remember the William Walker part of their American DNA, but regular Mexicans must deal with centuries of class discrimination to eke out a living. Yeah, Mexicans up here weep nostalgic tears a bit much over leaving their homeland, but again: Ever wonder why they left in the first place? Sorry to break it to you, Camino, but "Old Mexico" only exists in Westerns, murals in Tex-Mex restaurants, and in the Simpsons episode where Krusty the Clown takes a bunch of kids from Kamp Krusty to Tijuana as atonement for his endorsement of shoddy products.
Dear Mexican:
Why are Mexican men SOOOO sexy?! They have that certain "machismo" thing that white guys just don't have!
Waiting Güera
Dear Gabacha:
It ain't the machismo, chula; it's our manhood. Ever wonder why Mexican men are such prudes in locker rooms? Mere modesty: We don't want to give gabachos penis envy.
Dear Mexican:
Is chingar really a Spanish verb? Or is it Mexican slang? When I awakened my Spanish-speaking Chilean sweetheart one morning with a grin and "¿Quieres chingar?" she said she didn't understand. (I later learned that the word is a rather coarse version of what one says to his or her sweetie when you want to ... you know ... and that I was probably lucky she didn't understand.) Are there different versions of this verb for different Spanish-speaking countries? I wonder because, in the Anglo countries (U.K., Canada, United States, Australia and New Zealand), we all use the same cute little four-letter word.
Coarse Gabacho
Dear Gabacho:
You might be coarse, but you're really a pendejo. If you want to ask a chica, "Wanna fuck?" in Mexican Spanish, you don't say, "¿Quieres chingar?" You'd more properly say, "¿Quieres coger?" (Actually, if you want a real chance to get in her chonis, you'll be a gentleman about it and ask if you can pluck her flor.) Although chingar (derived from cingarár — "to fight" — in Caló, the language of Spanish Gypsies that had a profound influence on Mexican-American slang) can mean the act of coitus, the Royal Academy of Spanish lists nine separate entries for the verbo, from the aforementioned "to fuck" to "annoy" to "unevenly hang" in Argentina and Uruguay to "cut the tail of an animal" in Central America (I blame Guatemalans for that weak interpretation). And these definitions don't include chingar's numerous slang versions and tenses. As I discussed with the word pinche a couple of columnas ago, many curse words in Spanish have benign meanings in other Latin American regions. Remember coger? We Mexicans might prefer the word in its sexy incarnation, but the Royal Academy of Spanish includes 31 more — chingao!
E-mail The Mexican at mexican@pitch.com, find him at myspace.com/ocwab, or write to him via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433. Letters will be edited for clarity, cabrones. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we'll make one up for you!
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Actually to make things clear the word "gabacho" in not an offensive word ..if you think it was you are ignorant of the spanish language. on the other hand "wet-back" or "spic" is said as a denigration for Mexicans or immigrants. the samething with "greengo" the reason for this word was because of the U.S. army wearing green and saying "green go" on the times of Pancho Villa ( Jose Doroteo Arango) and the Mexican Revolution. Is like saying "yankees". Of course you can use it as an offensive word like if you say "pinche gabacho" but you can do the same with other words like "fucking Mexican" while Mexican is not an offensive word your making it by the way your saying it...so dont think if someone is referd as a gabacho he/she is being insulted ...TAKE IT EASY IS JUST A WORD
Stop saying "dear gabacho". Its offensive. How would you like if people went around addressing you as "dear wet back" or "dear spic". You think Americans are stupid and don't know anything but some people know that gabacho is rude and offensive
Girl!!!! Leave the damn man alone and go look for a better one, it sounds like he wants to use you. find someone else who would love to consider you as a friend and also his lover, don't stick around no man who would live with you for two years, dates you and have other women on the side and no wine dine you. How dare he dates you, live with you for two danky years and don't don't see your good worth, leave the blasted joker alone. I now see your message from 9 nine months ago, is January 2011 now. Have you left that man yet ?
OF COURSE NO ONE WILL COMIT TO YOU U STUPID BITCH
WHY THE FUCK DID U LET THE MEXICAN GO
DATS WAT U GET FAT WHORE!!!!
I LOVE MEXICAn MEN I JUST THINK THEY ARE THE CUTEST THINGs EVER !!!!!
OF COURSE NO ONE WILL COMIT TO YOU U STUPID BITCH WHY THE FUCK DID U LET THE MEXICAN GO DATS WAT U GET FAT WHORE!!!!
I LOVE MEXICAn MEN I JUST THINK THEY ARE THE CUTEST THINGs EVER !!!!!
I had fallen in love with a Mexican guy. We had a baby girl and right before she was born he left and went back to Mexico. I still talk. to him on occasion. but I've been dating a guy now for two years and he still will only consider me as a friend: he lives with me. But he alas has other women friends he wines amd dines gives them money Watever it may be our lease ends in Aug. Do u thonk j should go ahead and leave since he will not comit to me. I need help.
I had fallen in love with a Mexican guy. We had a baby girl and right before she was born he left and went back to Mexico. I still talk. to him on occasion. but I've been dating a guy now for two years and he still will only consider me as a friend: he lives with me. But he alas has other women friends he wines amd dines gives them money Watever it may be our lease ends in Aug. Do u thonk j should go ahead and leave since he will not comit to me. I need help.
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