Hey, you, Lava Room thief. Just because I left my bag at the Lava doesn't mean that you can steal it. Sure, I was drunk, but you probably were, too. And, besides that, whatever happened to the drunk code of ethics? You know: (1) Don't hit on your best friend's girl, (2) always tip well and (3) never steal from someone who's been drinking. What did you get? Bike tools and a hat? I go in there all the time, and if I ever see you wearing anything of mine, I swear to God, I'll get it back. Oh, and if you're curious about who I am, just look for the bike, motherfucker. If this makes you feel bad, just drop my stuff off at the bar. No questions asked, and no hard feelings.
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