Somebody leaks the Pitch a transcript of a secret school board meeting!

Kansas City Strip 

Somebody leaks the Pitch a transcript of a secret school board meeting!

True colors: Incredibly, no one guffawed in Judge Dean "Wimpy" Whipple's federal courtroom Friday when he ordered the Kansas City school board to stop holding secret meetings. In his own secret meeting with lawyers a day earlier, he'd decided not to make the board's Filthy Five explain in open court why they'd convened an illegal session to fire Superintendent Benjamin Demps Jr.

"It was the consensus of all of us that that would serve no purpose other than feeding the media," Whipple twanged.

As Duane Kelly groused, all of the board's problems have been caused by The Kansas City Star. "If there's conflict, they got to cover it," he said. "The Star declared war on this district. That's pure negativism."

Sources close to the situation, however, have given the Pitch a transcript of a closed-door meeting between Whipple and board members -- so readers can decide who's really playing the "negativism" card:

Whipple: Ms. Hensley, why'd you call an illegal meeting when you fired Mr. Demps?

Elma Warrick: Your Honor, you are a redneck racist! Always talking to the white people first! We voted to fire Mr. Demps because we care about the children -- not just the regular black children but the little redneck children too.

Whipple: Thank you, Ms. Warrick. Now, Ms. Hensley, why did you call that illegal meeting?

Michelle Hensley: (Gum snap!) Your Honor, I was like, hearing from my neighborhood and my cousin-in-law and they were all "Demps is cutting our summer school," and so I was like, "We gotta fire him for the children," so Mr. Barnes was all, "Sure," so (snap!) we did. Now I'm all, "Would he really do that to the summer school?"

Whipple: Mr. Barnes?

Lee Barnes: Before the meeting, I went into executive session with myself and, in a two-nothing vote, decided that firing Demps would help the children -- especially if the next superintendent would buy my chickens for the lunch program.

Whipple: Mr. Byrd?

Michael Byrd: Well, when board president Helen Ragsdale walked out of the meeting with those other three, I figured, "What the hell, let's mix some shit up for the children, even if Ms. Warrick thinks they're rednecks."

Warrick: Your Honor! I object! I would never use that kind of language.

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