What's the measure of a one-man band

One Man Guys 

What's the measure of a one-man band

That one guy who plays guitar and sings "Copacabana" while a drum machine plunks out digi-congas in the background — yeah, that's not a one-man band. The man known as That One Guy, however, who sings and slaps strings attached to multiple metal pipes and dances across kick pedals? He is. So is This Is My Condition's solo voce Craig Comstock, who wowed a crowd of 18-and-overs last week at the Record Bar with his loops, righteous drumming and simultaneous guitar manhandling.

Now it's your turn. Leave your band-in-a-box gadgets at home, grab a roll of duct tape, a couple of fat PVC pipes, a clarinet, a glockenspiel and whatever else you can find, then head on down to the Battle of the One-Man Bands on Thursday, December 8, at the Brick to compete for cash. Here are the rules:

1. You must use multiple instruments.

2. No cover songs are allowed.

3. Loops and samples are OK, but entire, presequenced songs are not.

4. Anything else goes.

5. Drop by the Brick or e-mail John at TheBlackGlove@gmail.com to sign up.

Postscript:

We had to wonder, what would a no-man band look like? We put our heads together with TIMC's Comstock, and here's what we came up with.

You have a stool with a hand bell sitting on it, plus an egg timer set for five minutes and a cell phone with an alarm set for 10 minutes (optional instruments: bottle of water, neck seal broken, on floor at foot of stool; microphone stand). At the end of 15 minutes, you walk onstage and ring the bell to indicate the performance is over.

This idea is open to anyone at the first No-Man Band competition (if there ever is one) — but only if you use the name "Philip Ass."

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