THE ’98 CHIEFS WOULD HAVE DONE GREAT IN THIS LEAGUE …
The World Wrestling Federation announced it would form a new “football with attitude” league in February 2001. The upstart league, to be called the XFL, will feature teams in eight U.S. cities. Chairman Vince McMahon says the league will encourage the type of individual expression that the NFL frowns upon, eliminate the enforcement of several penalties, and, in an attempt to maximize ratings, the XFL will attempt to move all assaults and weapons violations to the playing field. —Andrew Miller
MACAULAY CULKIN’S CAREER IS STILL AVAILABLE …
Elian Gonzalez’s Miami relatives have turned down an offer for the 6-year-old Cuban boy to appear in a national advertisement for Internet search site AltaVista. The decision was made because Gonzalez has already agreed to appear in ads for CheapMarketingPloys.com. —Robert Bishop
AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T LEAD TO A BABY GENIUSES SEQUEL …
A 4-year-old Dallas girl joined the high-IQ Mensa society after her intelligence was measured at between 148 and 170, placing her in the top 2 percent of the population. Priya Purewal already reads at the level of most 10-year-olds. Asked on a radio talk show what she wants to do when she grows up, Purewal said she plans to concoct devastating new biological weapons. “But she said it in this cute little baby voice,” a Mensa member added. —Andrew Miller
SOME MIGHT CALL IT TRUTH IN ADVERTISING …
In Canada, the Reform Party recently launched an opposition coalition with some conservative politicians, dubbing the group the Canadian Conservative Reform Alliance. An early draft of the group’s constitution added the word “party” to the end of its name, leaving the organization with the unflattering acronym CCRAP. “I just didn’t see it coming,” said a member of the group, who asked to be addressed by his full title: Director Of Party Endeavors. —Andrew Miller
MAYBE HE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LOST WORLD …
A Virginia high school student has been arrested on a felony fraud charge for passing himself off as a relative of director Steven Spielberg. After legally changing his name to Jonathan Taylor Spielberg, the student handed out $10 bills to classmates, parked his BMW — which has “SPLBERG” vanity plates — in the principal’s spot, and constantly made remarks about his “Uncle Steven” while purportedly filming a high-school themed movie. School officials first became suspicious of the impostor’s identity upon discovering his movie did not have a tacked-on happy ending. —Jon Niccum
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