I can't compete. I was going to dazzle you with wit and reverence. Stagger you with my flair for making Premonitions of War look completely and totally bad-motherfucking-ass. But any little quips I could zing would be repelled by the band's press release, the sole purpose of which is to make me feel woefully inadequate when it comes to writing obscenely grandiose descriptions. One appraisal says that the band is "as heavy as the concrete mobsters use to sink corpses." Another reads, "They are a humbling beast." Still another: "More than a band, they are a force." Still need help? "Envision a brick wall charging at you at 100 miles per hour." (Whimper.) If that doesn't make you want to cower in the fetal position, this is probably the band for you. On second thought, the band's sound has also been described as thunderous rock mixed with "hardcore breakdowns and Allmanesque Southern rock." Huh? Any band that remotely sounds like the Allman Brothers can't be that scary. At least not in a threatening way.