Do you love Dio? Do you love Satan? Then Kansas Citys Rock U wants to give you the gift of rock provided youre between the ages of 8 and 18 and desire a hipper hobby than playing flaccid marching-band charts of Smoke on the Water. Just imagine how life would be different if Mom and Pop had enrolled you in Rock U instead of tap-dance lessons: Youd have a better haircut, a better-looking spouse, a badder-ass car and a deeper appreciation for Wolfmother. As it is, the best option for most of us is to live those dreams vicariously through our children, discouraging the pointless endeavor of homework in favor of Jimmy Page woodshedding. Over-the-hill squares without children can experience the next best thing today when 55 pimple-faced rockers from the summer semester of Rock U perform a back-to-school tribute to American rock and roll at Crown Center Square (2450 Grand, 816-274-8444). The free shows begin at 3:30 and 6:30 p.m. Call 816-842-7625 for more info on Rock U.