Yoo-hoo, Ruben Studdard. We have a small matter we'd like to call to your attention. It's the skinny, whiny, dapper white boy -- what's-his-face Aiken -- who is, for some reason, still hanging around. What the hell is he doing, Studdard? He didn't win. Gladys Knight didn't call him "the Velvet Teddy Bear." Frankly, you gotta squash this guy before America starts believing that he was the American Idol. Fickle, fickle America. C'mon, Rube. You beat his ass once, and you can do it again. Only this time, get some help from Guido and Fat Tony. You have the Donny Hathaway and Luther Vandross influences, the smooth, heartfelt style. Not Aiken. Hell, you could even take over his concert dates. Just give Fat Tony a call.
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