Harsh words. But while it's easy to take a swing at a band like Journey, why not find some little piece of your soul that's unhardened by elitism and embrace it? Do so now, and you'll be just in time for the band's latest tour. Purists will contend that, because iconic lead singer Steve Perry and the rest of the group have acrimoniously gone their "Separate Ways," this isn't the real Journey. Ignoring the naysayers, the band is using this tour to celebrate "30 years of Journey," so we thought it would be fitting to give our top 30 reasons why we love Journey. But 30 is a big number and, well, it's only Journey. If Dennis DeYoung gets back together with Styx, we'll happily pull out all the stops. Until then, here are 13 reasons to (shamelessly, unironically) love Journey:
13. In an effort to soften the blow of changing lead singers, Journey swapped one long-haired, high-voiced Steve (Perry) for another (Augeri).
12. Escape, the 1982 Atari game that entrusted gamers with keeping band members safe from libidinous groupies and shady concert promoters.
11. The band's tear-jerking episode of Behind the Music, wherein Perry bemoans his status as a pariah in the band he once led.
10. "Faithfully," a staple of all Hoosier wedding receptions since 1983.
9. Rodney Dangerfield's golf bag in Caddyshack, which blared "Any Way You Want It," to the dismay of the bluebloods on the golf course.
8. The pseudo-Egyptian, cosmic-insect artwork on the band's LPs.
7. Perry's long, flowing hair and tight, tight pants, carried on by Augeri.
6. Founding members Neal Schon and Gregg Rolie formed Journey after leaving Santana, inadvertently paving the way for Carlos Santana's stunning late-'90s comeback. (Sorry, that's from the "Thirteen Reasons to Hate Journey" list.)
5. The fact that you can hear a Journey gem every hour, on the hour, on any classic-rock radio station.
4. The roller-rink scene in Charlize Theron's Monster, which has made "Don't Stop Believin'" the official theme song of lesbian serial killers everywhere.