Hey, you, cool guy circa 1987. You pulled up next to us in your hot red Camaro one day as we were rolling through Independence. Sorry, but we wouldn't have given you or your dated ride a second look if it hadn't been for the snake coiled around your arm. The black-and-orange creature looked pretty happy, soaking up the late afternoon sun and testing the exhaust-fume-filled breeze with his forked tongue. You know your little legless pet ups your interesting factor. That's why you gave us that easy grin when you caught us snapping photos with our camera phones. But does a snake that small really help you get girls?
Send anonymous confessions, congratulations or accusations to heyyou@pitch.com.
