· Katie Horner Super Blazing Hot Wings: One bite and you realize there's no reason to be alarmed.
· Dan Glass Po' Boy Subway Sub: Made with caviar, shaved truffles and '85 World Series ticket stubs.
· Lewis W. Diuguid White Guilt Mac and Cheese: Served in a get-it-your-damn-self tub.
· Zach Greinke Fried ArtiCHOKEs: Comes with a side of Heimlich Maneuver.
· Jeneé Osterheldt Whipped Cream Tart: A puff pastry filled with empty calories.
· Jerry Mazer Cheeseburger: Here it is, now get off the Plaza.
· Matt Blunt's Humble Pie: We reserve the right to refuse service to gays.
· Shawn Edwards' Five-Star, Must-See Popcorn: Tastes like buttered Wayans brothers and pops bigger than Riddick II.
· Kay Barnes Frozen Smiles: An icy piña colada molded in the shape of the mayor's grin.
· Stan Glazer Sautéed Large-Mouth Bass: Stuffed with forgotten plans for a 50-foot Ferris wheel.
· Trent Green Scrambled Brains: Really good two seasons ago.
· Mark Funkhouser BL&TIF Sandwich: Big slices of white bread and imitation bacon. But it's cheap.
· Walt Bodine Well-Aged Sirloin: This is served with a side of, um, what were we talking about?
· Larry Johnson's King Pink Taco: Mmm, now we're hungry!