We had been married a year and a half when he met her at work. We were 30. She was 22.
There was a quick change in him. My friends who have gone through this say they experienced the same thing with their husbands. There's almost a textbook form to it. He got mean. This was in the summer. We started fighting about things we'd never argued about. All of a sudden, it was like he was picking fights with me, trying to make me angry. He was mopey and sullen, not engaged. He criticized what I wore: "Why don't you wear skirts to work?" I understood later that she was a short-skirt-and-heels-to-work kind of girl.
I can almost pinpoint the day they met. From then on, he was constantly checking his e-mail. He would leave the house to take calls, so I looked through his phone records. There was this number that — bang, bang, bang — was always on the list: 4 in the morning, you know, all times of the day, and then there'd be six calls when I knew he was out of town. I found the number in the fall, and they'd started seeing each other in March.
I called the number and got her voice mail, got her name, heard her voice. So I asked him, "Who is she?" And he said she was one of his clients, a friend of his. "She has feelings for me," he told me. I said, "Friends don't call each other at 4 in the morning." But he said they were really good friends, and she had feelings for him, and I bought that. It was what I wanted to hear.
We were at breakfast a few months after they started seeing each other, and on the drive home, he said to me, "My feelings for you have changed." What do you say to that? And how could it have happened after less than two years? I was devastated. I packed a duffel bag and went to my sister's for a few days. And that was OK with him. He wanted some space.
After that, things were better for a month. We went out with friends and had fun with them, and I felt more positive about things. He seemed better. I found out later that she'd called it off. She felt guilty. She went on dates to make him jealous.
Within that little span, I got pregnant.
The day I took the test and knew I was pregnant, I sat down at the computer and just happened to open an e-mail and see her name. All I saw was "I love you completely." That's it. That's what I saw. And that's all I needed to read. I just knew. I ran around the house like an idiot, screaming and crying. He came running into the house, and I said, "Why is she saying she loves you?"
He sat down at the kitchen table and said, "You're right. We had sex a couple of times."
I said, "Pick up your phone and call her. I want to talk to her." So he got his cell phone and he dialed her number, and he said, "I told my wife. She knows we had sex a couple of times," and she hung up on him. I told him to try again, but she wouldn't answer. I think she was embarrassed.
The rest of that weekend is a complete fog in my head. When I went back to work on Monday, I started hacking into his e-mail account from work. You want to know exactly what they did, physically, A to B. You want to know where they went, if they saw movies, where they had dinner, if they dated, if they held hands at the movies, if he opened doors for her. You go crazy with the minutiae. Has he said the same things to her that you've heard? Does he talk about me? Does she wonder about me? You become obsessed with finding those things out. I was constantly asking him questions.
Showing 1-18 of 18
I went through the very same situation. My ex was a police officer in SE Kansas. The night he met the woman he is now married to, we were out with friends. As if it wasn't bad enough that they were running around behind my back, she had met me and knew he was married. There is no worse feeling than knowing that your spouse is cheating, yet not having the physical proof. When it's brought up you sound like the jealous wife. I found e-mails, and one day doing laundry found her contact numbers, including her parents numbers. He said he did a report and needed those numbers for the report, but I knew better. I asked him what her parents would think of their precious daughter when they found out she was a homewrecker. The week we separated he and she moved in together...no letting grass grow under their feet! I did get to confront her, and I told her she was not the first affair and she shouldn't fool herself into believing she is the last. I heard through the grapevine that she was pregnant with their first child, and came home early from work to find him in their bed with another woman. Sweet justice! It took me many years to get over him and what happened, but I have moved on now and am looking forward to what life has to offer me. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and that is definitely the case with me.
I went through the very same situation. My ex was a police officer in SE Kansas. The night he met the woman he is now married to, we were out with friends. As if it wasn't bad enough that they were running around behind my back, she had met me and knew he was married. There is no worse feeling than knowing that your spouse is cheating, yet not having the physical proof. When it's brought up you sound like the jealous wife. I found e-mails, and one day doing laundry found her contact numbers, including her parents numbers. He said he did a report and needed those numbers for the report, but I knew better. I asked him what her parents would think of their precious daughter when they found out she was a homewrecker. The week we separated he and she moved in together...no letting grass grow under their feet! I did get to confront her, and I told her she was not the first affair and she shouldn't fool herself into believing she is the last. I heard through the grapevine that she was pregnant with their first child, and came home early from work to find him in their bed with another woman. Sweet justice! It took me many years to get over him and what happened, but I have moved on now and am looking forward to what life has to offer me. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and that is definitely the case with me.
I've been there (very recently). My husband cheated on me because I dared to get as fat as he did and didn't want to spend my spare time playing video games and Dungeons and Dragons and dragging our infant son to "Magic: The Gathering" tournaments he entered. I did pretty much everything for him but wipe his ass, and he told me out of the blue he wanted a divorce when our son was barely two; no trial separation, no counseling..nothing. The coward told me in a note that he was embarrassed to be seen with me because of my looks, and tired of "apologizing" for me to his loser friends, who are in their early thirties, on a lateral career track, usually live in a filthy rent house and let their 9 yo play GTA. Then he was too much of a pussy to file, so I had to even though I didn't want to. (This was before I knew about the affair). He got the well-known skank he was cheating with pregnant at least six months before our court date, and, again, was a coward and didn't tell some of his close friends about it until they were on the way to the hospital. We were married for 5 1/2 years, together for 7, and during most of that time I worked as a reporter, even winning a couple of awards, but he never acted proud of that. His latest wife worked part-time serving coffee. Guess what? I've lost 45 pounds, am in the best shape of my life and he's still fat, bald and hairy. I'm just sorry "Wife" wasted so much time and energy realizing HE was the loser. By the way, Nate, "your" and "looser" aren't misspelled, they are the incorrect use of the words.
I've been there (very recently). My husband cheated on me because I dared to get as fat as he did and didn't want to spend my spare time playing video games and Dungeons and Dragons and dragging our infant son to "Magic: The Gathering" tournaments he entered. I did pretty much everything for him but wipe his ass, and he told me out of the blue he wanted a divorce when our son was barely two; no trial separation, no counseling..nothing. The coward told me in a note that he was embarrassed to be seen with me because of my looks, and tired of "apologizing" for me to his loser friends, who are in their early thirties, on a lateral career track, usually live in a filthy rent house and let their 9 yo play GTA. Then he was too much of a pussy to file, so I had to even though I didn't want to. (This was before I knew about the affair). He got the well-known skank he was cheating with pregnant at least six months before our court date, and, again, was a coward and didn't tell some of his close friends about it until they were on the way to the hospital. We were married for 5 1/2 years, together for 7, and during most of that time I worked as a reporter, even winning a couple of awards, but he never acted proud of that. His latest wife worked part-time serving coffee. Guess what? I've lost 45 pounds, am in the best shape of my life and he's still fat, bald and hairy. I'm just sorry "Wife" wasted so much time and energy realizing HE was the loser. By the way, Nate, "your" and "looser" aren't misspelled, they are the incorrect use of the words.
and Churry, Colleen, whatever it is, go to google and search for IEspell. Its an application that adds itself to Internet Explorer that gives you the option to spell check what you type so you don't show anyone reading your comments that you're an idiot that can't spell.
I agree with justthefacts, lmao. She shouldn't have stayed with the man if she had caught him cheating, she should have been stronger and left him. Also, WTF, she knows he has been cheating and then gets pregnant and believes him when he says he stops? What happens next, oh, she catches him lying and cheating again and instead of being strong and leaving she goes psycho-stalker spending hours of time cracking passwords and voicemail codes just to dig deeper into what he has been doing. Granted the man is pathetic but wow, come on, this story is a pity me sob story.
And Jean, please, at least pretend or attempt to sound educated in YOUR responses. Looser, your?!? Apparantly YOU'RE quite the LOSER because you cannot use proper english when trying to cut someone else down on the interwebz.
Don't bother responding, lmao, I dont ever read anything on here. Only reason I am even on here now was because I clicked on a link that was on truecrimereport that led me here...
3.Oh, I forgot to add "just the facts maam." Apparently you don't have the facts. In fact, your comment sounds like something a mistress would say. Poor you. Your the reason guys find it ok and necessary to cheat! Your the looser!
and Churry, Colleen, whatever it is, go to google and search for IEspell. Its an application that adds itself to Internet Explorer that gives you the option to spell check what you type so you don't show anyone reading your comments that you're an idiot that can't spell.
I agree with justthefacts, lmao. She shouldn't have stayed with the man if she had caught him cheating, she should have been stronger and left him. Also, WTF, she knows he has been cheating and then gets pregnant and believes him when he says he stops? What happens next, oh, she catches him lying and cheating again and instead of being strong and leaving she goes psycho-stalker spending hours of time cracking passwords and voicemail codes just to dig deeper into what he has been doing. Granted the man is pathetic but wow, come on, this story is a pity me sob story. And Jean, please, at least pretend or attempt to sound educated in YOUR responses. Looser, your?!? Apparantly YOU'RE quite the LOSER because you cannot use proper english when trying to cut someone else down on the interwebz. Don't bother responding, lmao, I dont ever read anything on here. Only reason I am even on here now was because I clicked on a link that was on truecrimereport that led me here... 3.Oh, I forgot to add "just the facts maam." Apparently you don't have the facts. In fact, your comment sounds like something a mistress would say. Poor you. Your the reason guys find it ok and necessary to cheat! Your the looser!
Dog is man's best friend and Man is woman's worst enemy. Good for you to move on with your life. I too am single and since I left my cheating, stealing husband he has had 9 children since my 2 with him (papa was a rolling stone), by 5 diffrent women and they are all within months of each other. How crazy. I am now 8 hours away from him and he still haunts me. He says I drove him too it.
Keep your head up girl! You can find better now that you took your training wheels off hopefully the next one will rock your boat. p.s. men love a challenge it is a mistery they want to get to know about. Colleen
Dog is man's best friend and Man is woman's worst enemy. Good for you to move on with your life. I too am single and since I left my cheating, stealing husband he has had 9 children since my 2 with him (papa was a rolling stone), by 5 diffrent women and they are all within months of each other. How crazy. I am now 8 hours away from him and he still haunts me. He says I drove him too it. Keep your head up girl! You can find better now that you took your training wheels off hopefully the next one will rock your boat. p.s. men love a challenge it is a mistery they want to get to know about. Colleen
Been Here. Felt that way. To just the facts. When you are married to someone and truly in love the feelings being described are accurate. I threw my lying, cheating, louse out on his rear, but I always wanted to know all of the details. When I did find out most of them I felt better somehow. So like the other lady said until you have truly loved and been betrayed don't judge.
Been Here. Felt that way. To just the facts. When you are married to someone and truly in love the feelings being described are accurate. I threw my lying, cheating, louse out on his rear, but I always wanted to know all of the details. When I did find out most of them I felt better somehow. So like the other lady said until you have truly loved and been betrayed don't judge.
Oh, I forgot to add "just the facts maam." Apparently you don't have the facts. In fact, your comment sounds like something a mistress would say. Poor you. Your the reason guys find it ok and necessary to cheat! Your the looser!
Weak,poor me. You don't know what you are talking about. Let's put you in that situation big guy and see how you take it. How can you be so heartless. You haven't walked 2 feet in her shoes. I knew that some idiot would be judgemental and make a stupid comment like this.
Ok, this is the dumbest "poor me" story I've heard in awhile. She finds her husband cheating and still gets pregnant. She is so weak and conniving that she'd get pregnant to keep a cheating husband. What a complete loser. She gives real women a bad name, but then again, she got what she deserved a cheating no good husband to share a child with.
Oh, I forgot to add "just the facts maam." Apparently you don't have the facts. In fact, your comment sounds like something a mistress would say. Poor you. Your the reason guys find it ok and necessary to cheat! Your the looser!
Weak,poor me. You don't know what you are talking about. Let's put you in that situation big guy and see how you take it. How can you be so heartless. You haven't walked 2 feet in her shoes. I knew that some idiot would be judgemental and make a stupid comment like this.
Ok, this is the dumbest "poor me" story I've heard in awhile. She finds her husband cheating and still gets pregnant. She is so weak and conniving that she'd get pregnant to keep a cheating husband. What a complete loser. She gives real women a bad name, but then again, she got what she deserved a cheating no good husband to share a child with.
like
dislike
