Jimmy the Fetus answers your questions about morality.

Urban Killers 

As Law drops the 110 bomb, Kansas City considers urban hunting.

As avid urban hunters, we here at the Pitch were glad to learn that the city's thinking about opening up two parks to deer hunting. This winter, bow hunters might be able to get permission to climb trees in Tiffany Springs Park and Riverfront Park to pick off a few of the overpopulated deer. To learn more, we called the Missouri Department of Conservation's Debra Burns, an urban wildlife biologist.

Pitch: Any fear that gangbangers may pose as hunters?

Burns: No, I have no fear whatsoever. I don't think archery equipment is their weapon of choice.

Won't having hunters up in tree stands scare the homeless people out of the parks?

I don't know if it will or not. I'm sure the homeless people will find it a little strange that there's guys up in the trees. And it was one of my concerns that in Riverfront Park it might be a safety issue for the hunters, having that homeless camp out there. But the city tries, I believe, to move the people out of there now and again.

Will the hunters be expected to bring their kills to Swope Park for burial, like killers do?

No. We're hoping they take them home and put them in their freezer.

If the bows don't work, is there any talk about bringing in 9 mm handguns?

Um, I don't believe that's a legal method for harvesting deer.

Percent-challenged

During his first press conference as a Kansas City Chief last week, Ty Law looked the epitome of relaxed and ready: bulging muscles poking out of a tank top, flip-flops on his feet. He talked modestly about being just one piece of the puzzle, despite the fact that the Chiefs thought enough of the 32-year-old cornerback to give him a five-year deal worth a cool $30 million.

Then Law dropped the percent-bomb.

"I'm 110 percent better than what I was last year, physically, mentally."

Why'd he have to go and say that? The Chiefs have a less-than-stellar history with percentage quotes. We searched the Kansas City Star archives for these math-challenged gems:

· In December 1998, the Chiefs were behind the Broncos in a playoff run when Denver receiver Ed McCaffrey said, " ... both teams are going to be playing at 110 percent. We're approaching it like do or die." Well, for the Chiefs, it was die. The Arrowhead boys ended the season fourth in the AFC West with a 7-9 record.

· When Trent Green was asked about Rodney Harrison, the Rams strong safety who put Green out of commission for a year, Green replied diplomatically, "Rodney is a guy who plays 110 percent every play." Let's hope that in the future, Green can scramble at 120 percent to avoid Harrison.

· In 1998, Chiefs cornerback Dale Carter was hoping for a miraculous comeback from injury when he said: "I want to go out there and play 110 percent, my top performance, every game." He should've checked his math. Carter had his worst year yet as a pro and was cut that off-season.

· The worst of 'em has to be from former Chiefs center Tim Grunhard. When asked in November 1998 about floundering quarterback Elvis Grbac, he said, "I'm behind Elvis 110 percent." That year, Grbac played just eight games and threw five touchdowns and 12 interceptions. Perhaps Grunhard should've gotten in front of Elvis.

Tri-City Gets Punk¹d

Public agencies can be stupid with money. Spending $1.1 million to rehab a couple of bungalows in the 'hood. That's pretty dumb.

But every once in a while, the government finds a business partner more foolish than itself. Say amen to Tri-City Baptist Church.

In 2002, the Jackson County Election Board rented space in a building that Tri-City owned on Independence Square. For a time, Carl Herbster, Tri-City's politically active pastor, used the building as a base of operations for a Christian-school-advocacy group. The election board agreed to pay $11,250 a month, with the option to buy the building in 2003 for $550,000.

But when the election board exercised its option to buy, the church refused to sell. So the election board sued.

Tri-City is no stranger to messy business transactions ("Blessed Are the Moneymakers," April 28, 2005). A former bookkeeper pleaded guilty to defrauding the church of $618,000 in 2004. That same year, the church was forced to refund securities it had sold members but had failed to register with the secretary of state.

As for the bank building, county officials suspected that the option price did not cover Tri-City's mortgage. The church has borrowed extensively. Herbster once took out a loan for $1.6 million without a vote of the congregation.

Last month, Jackson County Judge Michael Manners sided with the election board. "It may well be that this turned out to be a bad deal for the defendant," Manners wrote in his decision.

The church is required to surrender the deed at a price of $482,800. (The lease allowed the election board to apply a portion of its rent to a future sale price.) In addition to losing the verdict, Tri-City did not receive rent payments while the case was in court.

"We haven't paid in two and a half years," says Charlene Davis, co-director of the election board.

Jesus, you've been punk'd.

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