The names of the couples in this story have been changed to protect their identities.
If Juan and Juana were going to stage a fake marriage to help Juan get his green card, the two of them figured, they might as well treat some friends to a great meal.
They invited eight of their closest pals—four guys, four girls, people whom they could trust with a felony—to dinner at Thai Nakorn in Garden Grove. A dress code was enforced: men in suits, or at least long-sleeved shirts, and women in dresses. No slacks, no heels, no curry.
Over plates of nam sod and fried trout, washed down with some beers, Juan and Juana enjoyed an evening out with amigos. She wore an off-white strapless dress; he, a suit bought off the rack at Men’s Wearhouse, his first. Juana’s friend snapped photographs throughout the night—at one point, Juan stood up to propose a toast so the friend could take the shot, but he merely posed for the camera, mouth open, and said nothing. Everyone laughed, as the disposable camera flashed and whirred onto the next frame.
The following day, the group drove to the Old Orange County Courthouse in Santa Ana, wearing the same clothes from the faux banquet. They posed for pictures at the western entrance of the historic building, on the steps near the marriage license office. In pairs, just the guys, just the girls, just the couple, everyone together. Juan even pulled off the garter belt from Juana’s thigh for a photo—the first time he ever placed his hands within a foot of her nether regions. Friends developed the photos at CVS Pharmacy, the better to play the part of poor kids in love.
A week later, Juan and Juana sat down for an interview with an officer in the Santa Ana offices of the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, the government agency that handles requests by migrants to enter this country. They weren’t nervous—years of close, platonic friendship meant they knew each other’s stories, and they had consulted with friends and relatives who had staged fake weddings as well. They were prepared. Not even the penalties for marriage fraud—automatic deportation for the offending immigrant, a ban from ever applying again for legal entry into the United States, up to five years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine—made them sweat. Much.
They showed the officer the pictures from Thai Nakorn, from family gatherings. Holding hands. Kissing.
The agent’s questions were accusatory when they weren’t outright skeptical.
Where were your parents for such an important ceremony? she asked the two. In Mexico.
Wouldn’t they have flown up for the occasion? Yes, but we’re having the actual celebration down there.
What about other family? They know this is just a civil ceremony and will fly down to Mexico for the real celebration.
And when is that? Near Christmas.
But that’s six months away. We know, but that’s when our families go down to visit.
Why not hold it here?
Juan and Juana didn’t look at each other—instead, they literally bit their tongues. The officer silently flipped through the photos. After about an hour of questions and photo-browsing, the officer put the pictures down. “That was a really nice dress you wore, Juana,” she said. “Hope your wedding in Mexico goes well.”
There would be no more investigations, the two thought. The ruse was a success. That night, Juan and Juana invited their respective lovers over to their house for a celebration.
* * *
The banquet hall at the Quiet Cannon in Montebello is in bedlam. An 18-piece banda sinaloense, its brass section and bass drum so loud you can hear the music from the parking lot down the hill,booms through “La Víbora de la Mar” (“The Sea Snake”). It’s a jaunty children’s tune played during Mexican weddings that finds grown men and women engaging in a version of “London Bridge Is Falling Down,” except participants race around the dance floor progressively faster and faster, hands interlocked, under the arms of the bride and groom.
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To say that people from south of what is now the southern U.S. border lived here before we as Americans did means absolutely nothing. Have you people not studied history? Do you not know that Spain, yes Spain the country in Europe, conquered the people who reside in what is now Mexico as well as other countries south of there. Borders have changed over time as will surely change again but that doesn't mean your future ancestors are entitled to citizenship or anything else in a country after border change. If that is the case, should not the people of African descant have first tabs on everything because they were after all the original habitants of the earth. Second and third in line would be those of middle eastern and/or Asian descant (order unknown).
To say that people from south of what is now the southern U.S. border lived here before we as Americans did means absolutely nothing. Have you people not studied history? Do you not know that Spain, yes Spain the country in Europe, conquered the people who reside in what is now Mexico as well as other countries south of there. Borders have changed over time as will surely change again but that doesn't mean your future ancestors are entitled to citizenship or anything else in a country after border change. If that is the case, should not the people of African descant have first tabs on everything because they were after all the original habitants of the earth. Second and third in line would be those of middle eastern and/or Asian descant (order unknown).
Does Jose have a valid Social Security number? If he can withstand a tax audit, leagalize him. If not, proscecute him.
Does Jose have a valid Social Security number? If he can withstand a tax audit, leagalize him. If not, proscecute him.
I've seen this and I'm so sick of illegal immigrants. Every single one of them needs to go home. GO HOME!! Go be a model citizen where you are supposed to be and give us the opportunity to approve or not your request to enter. I support absolutely NO AMNESTY. I support prosecution. I support deportation. GO HOME!!
I've seen this and I'm so sick of illegal immigrants. Every single one of them needs to go home. GO HOME!! Go be a model citizen where you are supposed to be and give us the opportunity to approve or not your request to enter. I support absolutely NO AMNESTY. I support prosecution. I support deportation. GO HOME!!
America is strapped!!! In most American cities we can't provide for American families who have been paying into the social structure for GENERATIONS. How can anyone deem it unfair to force illegals to return to their own countries??? Only other illegals, is my guess.
America is strapped!!! In most American cities we can't provide for American families who have been paying into the social structure for GENERATIONS. How can anyone deem it unfair to force illegals to return to their own countries??? Only other illegals, is my guess.
Imigration I and my wife who is a foriegn national went through the whole process legally. Yes it cost us over 4000 dollars and will cost money each time we renew her green card until she is a naturalized citizen. I think it is wrong for people to sneak into a country and then try to get citizenship as I believe all should be treated equally in the process. If they are in the country illegal and try to get a green card they should immediately be deported with no questions asked and should never be allowed to get a green card. They want to be in america then follow the law and do it legally.
Imigration I and my wife who is a foriegn national went through the whole process legally. Yes it cost us over 4000 dollars and will cost money each time we renew her green card until she is a naturalized citizen. I think it is wrong for people to sneak into a country and then try to get citizenship as I believe all should be treated equally in the process. If they are in the country illegal and try to get a green card they should immediately be deported with no questions asked and should never be allowed to get a green card. They want to be in america then follow the law and do it legally.
I get so sick of the "what part of illegal don't you understand crowd." People brought here illegally as children, allowed to go to school, graduate college and you want them deported? The government didn't stop it from happening. Deporting someone that doesn't even know another country is cruel and sick.
I'm all for stopping future illegal immigration and encouraging legal immigration, but the wingnuts that want to pack 'em out and ship them out aren't a rational bunch.
Before it was anyone ones land it was the indians! Who are you and anyone else to say what ones dreams can be?... have a heart. think of all the situations latinos have to face. the children that suffer. I understand there should be alot of changes. They should have to pay taxes just like us Americans. but b4 you try to knock someone and make the remark OUR remembr who's it was first.
I get so sick of the "what part of illegal don't you understand crowd." People brought here illegally as children, allowed to go to school, graduate college and you want them deported? The government didn't stop it from happening. Deporting someone that doesn't even know another country is cruel and sick. I'm all for stopping future illegal immigration and encouraging legal immigration, but the wingnuts that want to pack 'em out and ship them out aren't a rational bunch.
Before it was anyone ones land it was the indians! Who are you and anyone else to say what ones dreams can be?... have a heart. think of all the situations latinos have to face. the children that suffer. I understand there should be alot of changes. They should have to pay taxes just like us Americans. but b4 you try to knock someone and make the remark OUR remembr who's it was first.
Bureaucracy in the United States, Red Tape galore, the left hand doesn't seem to know what the right hand is doing. A little thought, and you can pull the wool over the eyes of all of these Govt. agencies. The Federal Gov't. is the WORST run agency, or whatever you wish to call it, on the planet. A judge overturns a federal gay marriage ban calling it unconstitutional because it inhibits the freedom of what a state allows, but yet the Federal Gov't is suing the State of Arizona for it's adoption of it's own Immigration Laws which parallel federal laws. Doesn't make sense, does it? What has happened to this country? I am proud to be an American Citizen, but am ashamed of the Political Correctiveness that has shrouded the common sense judgement of many. If only I could turn the clock back to better days.....
Bureaucracy in the United States, Red Tape galore, the left hand doesn't seem to know what the right hand is doing. A little thought, and you can pull the wool over the eyes of all of these Govt. agencies. The Federal Gov't. is the WORST run agency, or whatever you wish to call it, on the planet. A judge overturns a federal gay marriage ban calling it unconstitutional because it inhibits the freedom of what a state allows, but yet the Federal Gov't is suing the State of Arizona for it's adoption of it's own Immigration Laws which parallel federal laws. Doesn't make sense, does it? What has happened to this country? I am proud to be an American Citizen, but am ashamed of the Political Correctiveness that has shrouded the common sense judgement of many. If only I could turn the clock back to better days.....
Cannot wait for November to get here so I can vote the politicans out that support this illegal crap.
Cannot wait for November to get here so I can vote the politicans out that support this illegal crap.
WHAT part of illegal dont you understand. IF you are not a legal citizen do what you have to do to get legal or get out of OUR country. nobody cares that if you had families in the territories. Thats like saying my family lived in one of the 13 states of the confederacy so I dont have to follow the laws of the UNITED STATES.
Robert
A real american citizen
WHAT part of illegal dont you understand. IF you are not a legal citizen do what you have to do to get legal or get out of OUR country. nobody cares that if you had families in the territories. Thats like saying my family lived in one of the 13 states of the confederacy so I dont have to follow the laws of the UNITED STATES. Robert A real american citizen
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